Delusional Read online

  “In fact, we can change that right now.” He gently brushed one of his smooth, but strong hands across my hair line.

  My body, time, and the world itself seemed to go frozen as he leaned in, his features distorted in the dark lighting. Our lips connected, and subconsciously I felt my hands make their way to his prominent shoulders as the endorphins rushed through my body.

  His lips touched down onto mine gracefully, and instantly my thoughts dissolved and my whole body became absorbed in the flurry of feelings flooding my body. Then as fast as the feeling came it left me in one smooth swoop as Colton’s body inched backward.

  A heavy silence clouded the air. The only thing I could feel was the static energy between us and the slightly salty taste left on my lips, almost like he had come straight from the ocean. He followed my eyes as I shyly looked down at the clothes I dropped on the stone granite floor below.

  Then he managed a little smile that I could barely make out in the dim light. Picking up the clothes, I looked back into his eyes empty of emotion and smiled back.

  I held the clothes up to my chest and listened to the rapid beat of my heart. Endorphins rushed throughout my body, hungry for more. That one feeling, that one rush, seemed to block out the pain, and cause new emotions to bubble in my stomach that began to latch onto visions of their own.

  “Um…” He stuttered, but his eyes still had that same blank emotion, “Meet me outside when your done changing.” His voice regained confidence. Whenever he talked, there was a soothing aura to his voice; maybe, it was the smooth way the words rolled off his tongue, or the tenderness to his tone.

  “Okay sure.” I watched as he stepped outside and back out into the hallway, leaving me alone to finally get out of the bare hospital gown.

  What just happened? I slid out of the hospital gown and began to put on the pair of leggings. Did he just kiss me? I suddenly felt embarrassed that I had gotten so close to a boy, being that I was pretty much wearing nothing except for a translucent sheet over my body. But, I felt my body tense, as I realized that he was the one who wanted it. There was a fluid, yet mechanical way to his motions, and there was an odd look in his eyes, that made it seem like when he leaned into to kiss me, that he was a on a mission of sorts.

  I exhaled, releasing around a thousand pounds of nervous tension off my shoulders. The more logical, think it through, part of my brain was finally beginning to work again after my emotions went into overdrive.

  My mind was torn between the thoughts of, I just got kissed by a super gorgeous guy, and the fact that I might be famous. I looked down in dismay at the silky white t-shirt. I was still flustered from the rush of that moment, in fact, my brain was still lost in the emotions that flowed through me the instant his lips connect with mine. Everything about it felt good, except the doubt nipping in the back of my brain.

  I just don’t understand. I let my emotions begin to battle the flurry of thoughts screaming through my mind. What even does being famous entail? What did I do to get Colton to kiss me? And how do I make that happen again?

  With actual clothes on I stepped forward and out into the stone lined hallway.

  “Hey,” Colton smiled.

  “Hey,” I responded pushing a brown strand of hair out of my eyes. The same anxious feeling from before sat in my stomach. The second my eyes came into contact with him and his ripped body the feeling to experience the same touch and the same taste from before immediately flooded my mind.

  “Nice color choice,” he said remarking at my black and white attire, “Really shows off your wild side.”

  “I know, it’s boring, but it was the first pair of clothes I found.”

  “Y’ know you can change the color on the uniform interface.”

  “Uniform interface?” I questioned, “What are you talking about?”

  “Watch,” he said as he motioned his right arm in the air. Suddenly a panel appeared on his upper right sleeve, “The shirt has tiny motion detectors embedded in the fabric, so when you move your right arm at a ninety-degree angle it triggers the interface to pop up. It shows you the date, time, and basic weather info, and it also allows you to change the color of your clothes.”

  After hearing this, I raised my right arm in the air and the smart interface popped up instantly. It showed the time, 11 pm PST, and the date August 24th, 2046. The weather was apparently 59 degrees with a steady north easterly wind at 5 mph. Below the weather and date was two arrows with a square in the middle displaying the current design of the clothes.

  I quickly realized how boring I was compared to everyone else. Most people were wearing attire with intricate designs, or at least pretty colors that in a way reflected who they were.

  “Wow,” I said running a hand over my shirt that was once white just seconds ago, “That’s amazing.” I tapped the smart interface and it disappeared into the fabric of my shirt.

  “Yeah these clothes are all prototypes that Jacob got from one of his friends who owned a hi-tech fashion company. These were designed just before the Great Crash but were never sold to the public because the factory that made them shut down cause everyone was broke.”

  I glanced at him, my head feeling dizzy with stress. He immediately understood that what he was saying meant absolutely nothing to me and he waved a hand in the air and smiled.

  “C’mon we should go,” he grabbed my hand as he started walking down the hallway, “We can’t miss anymore.”

  Oh right, I thought coming back to reality, San Francisco.

  After just a few steps, we both stepped out of the hallway, the loud noises smacking my ears with each wave that hit them. A sizzling crackle followed by a deafening boom echoed across the room instantly silencing the crowd. With wide eyes, I turned my head towards the massive screen at the front of the room to see the rubble of yet another fallen building scattered across the city streets. I had no doubt that the life-like stereo system was super cool most days, but it only made it feel like the building we were in would be bombed at any minute.

  I looked around at the dozens of people transfixed upon the screen, watching in abhorrence. Unlike before the screams and cries of agony were exhausted, but the feeling of pure shock weighed down the air as we all waited whether we would be next. Live video was streaming of an overhead shot of the destruction in downtown San Francisco as the voice of a frantic news reporter droned on just above the sound of screams and explosions from the city streets.

  “And just coming in, new information that confirms the air strikes on San Francisco were indeed carried out by the U.S. Military.” As if on cue, this information was followed by another explosion. “The military attack drones were first reported over San Francisco at 9 pm and the first explosions were reportedly at around 10 pm.

  “The reason for the attack has still not been confirmed, but it is likely that the government initiated the attack as part of an intimidation technique to show communities in other cities the consequences of organizing major protests against the government like the one San Francisco organized for tonight.

  “The extent of the destruction has not yet been surveyed, but so far there are a reported 45,000 people missing and another 10,000 already found dead in the rubble. A reported 250 buildings have collapsed and…”

  Uninterested in hearing anymore depressing statistics or facts about the hell dropped upon San Francisco, I tuned out the female voice of the reporter and watched in awe as the footage played of a city falling into ruin.

  It took a few seconds for my eyes to focus, or maybe it was my brain trying to comprehend how something so calamitous could happen in a matter of hours, but the fact that a city could be reduced to ash by its own government in a matter of seconds brought a sickening feeling to my empty stomach.

  Debris filled the streets, and dark smoke faintly visible even at night rose above the city, casting an ominous shadow upon the city streets. There were sections of the city where blocks of buildings were completely leveled, littering the streets in metal, dust,
fire, and bodies. Mothers were pictured clutching their children’s hands, tears streaming down their faces as they cried out in anguish. Dogs and cats dug through the heaping piles of burning detritus, as paramedics, firemen, and civilians ran into the burning buildings and dived into mountain sized piles of rubble, desperately trying to get back some of what was lost. But it was too late; the fire had already turned everything into ash.

  One boy in particular, who was about nine, caught my eyes. He picked up a handful of grime with a pink bow on top, then I watched as a gust of wind carried the dust and the bow along with it into the night.

  I couldn’t help but tear up as the drone zoomed off giving us a new perspective of the destruction. They lost their city. They lost their homes. They lost their families. They lost their neighbors. Even the little boy lost his bow. Everyone lost everything.

  The drone hovered directly above the destruction giving us a bird’s eye view of a city that was completely annihilated. The images of the devastation in San Francisco were lurid. Dozens if not hundreds of buildings laid on the ground. It was a sight so gruesome and awing that it compelled me to turn away and scream yet the irresistible urge to know caused me to stare at it in a motionless shock.

  My heart began to beat rapidly as a choking sensation built its way up in my throat. The buildings left standing were left with a stain of ash across their sides. The fallout from the explosions, slowly caused a cloud of gas, dust, and debris to settle over the city. The hundreds of towers that were still left standing looked hollow in the darkness that swept across the city. The only light came from the wave of fires that raced down the hillsides and burned incessantly in the buildings.

  My ears began to tune in to the reporter’s voice at the sound of two words, “Natalie Parker.”

  My heart stopped mid-beat and I blinked in absolute shock. The reporter on the TV. The words hit me like a sucker punch to the throat, instantly knocking the air out of me. She’s talking about me.

  My brain finally connected the dots. The mind control program was shut down because of me. San Francisco was bombed because of me. Those people lost everything because of me.

  In a matter of seconds, I could feel the energy of the dozens of eyes turned towards the back of the crowd to stare directly at me. The pressure weighed down on me. Breaking my back. Breaking my heart. Breaking my will.

  My eyes darted around frantically at the people, who looked at me with an expression of hope.

  All I could do was stand there.

  A vile feeling began to work its way up my spine and into my mouth. Because as much as I tried to hide from it, I knew the truth; I knew my reality.

  America was dissolving into a civil war. San Francisco is nothing but a memory in the minds of those who will inevitably die, and its remnants will be nothing more than hallowed remains in a graveyard of endless imperfect contingencies. Hundreds of thousands of people lost everything, and they will never get it back.

  And it was all because of me.

  Chapter 5

  I pounded my fist against the table as the mindless lull of the people talking ensued. The daylight from the outside peeked through the glass, illuminating half of the main room as the other half remained enshrouded in darkness.

  For the most part, everyone was seated outside around make shift tables, or on the cement patio eating breakfast and soaking up the sun between the pine tree branches. It was a mild day with a warm breeze that carried the voices of the dozens of people, who ranged from old enough so that their faces were sunken in to young enough, where their faces were still ripe with an innocent curiosity and their eyes gleaming with a faint hope. The voices sounded giddy almost, with anticipation of the events that may happen in the wake of the San Francisco attacks, and I could hear them lowly talking about me.

  I turned back towards the outside where I could feel the occasional glance directed at me. For the most part, everyone had kept a respectful distance, not prying me with any questions, or harassing me with too many looks. If they were smart, they got the vibe pretty quickly that I was a freaky girl and not the good kind. Instead they more glared at me impassively; yet I dolefully watched them, my insides marking their presence as the eyes of a hunter would.

  I looked around the bright room staring at a singular floor tile in a hypnotic trance, which undoubtedly only exacerbated the notion I was a lunatic, my thoughts consuming me like a moldy slime. What happened in Area 51? How did I get in there? And who would know besides me?

  I peered blankly right at him, his bandaged right side and his left arm in a liquid cast. Scrapes and bruises dotted his caramel skin, and it didn’t hit me until I met him right in his creamy brown eyes that he was the one.

  Ethan. My mind began to race with excitement as I shot up and, in a flash, started to make my way over to him. No wonder he looks so done with life. His eyes widened as he shifted backwards nervously in his seat at the sight of me charging at him.

  “Ethan,” I said breathlessly. I slid in right next to him without even asking. He gave me an utterly perplexed look in return, “It’s Natalie.” I paused, his un-brushed wavy hair stood still with time, “Natalie Parker.”

  “Wait,” He paused dropping his spoon in a splatter into his bowl of cereal, “Oh shit,” He turned his head and looked me up and down, his eyes flickering. “Dang you’re Natalie?”

  “Yeah,” I smiled back at him, hoping that somehow by some miracle his mind wasn’t wiped.

  There was a brief moment of silence, before we both looked at each other and simultaneously said, “Do you know what happened?”

  We both couldn’t help, but smile. It was one of those moments that was so sad, but so typical that there seemed like nothing else to do besides scream from a mountaintop, “Fuck my life!” His smile quickly faded.

  “Goddammit,” Ethan cursed glaring at his bowl of cereal menacingly, like somehow it was the cereal’s fault.

  “What do we do now?” I asked realizing that we both knew no more than the other.

  “I don’t know,” He sighed in despair. The air seemed to have a new heavy feel to it, but my eyes caught one glistening cut along the right side of his face. “I don’t know what really happened besides the fact that the mind control program is shut down and everything is blowing up, and I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t know you. I don’t know even know myself.”

  “I feel you. We are both in the same boat that seems to be headed off the world itself.”

  A heavy silence hung over the air after I spoke as we both realized that we both had no point in talking to each other, or anyone for that matter. Where can we go to find out more about our past? Or should I abandon my old self entirely?

  Just at that moment, out of the corner of my eye I caught Colton walking by. He instantly stopped and tuned his head toward me. His face immediately went up in alarm.

  “Good morning, Natalie,” He rushed over and took a seat across from me.

  “Good morning,” I glumly responded, but I couldn’t help but cheer up a little at the sight of his hair that had an effortlessly beautiful way to it. There was a glassy film over his eyes, and his entire body still seemed to be half asleep.

  “I couldn’t find you anywhere last night,” He had a look of sincere worry on his face, “Are you okay?”

  “As okay as I can be.” I glanced at the ground, as if there would be an answer between the seams in the floor tiles. I then looked up into his eyes, and at the familiar glow that seemed to enclose his face, searching for something that could fill the void that constituted my entire being.

  “Yeah given the situation,” He exhaled, looking me in the eyes with what I believed to be a look of sympathy. Then he turned to Ethan. There was a serious, suddenly protective expression to his face. I could see his entire body tense up, as he shifted his hand closer to me. “So, what’s your name?”

  There was a coldness to his tone that made me feel uncomfortable. The warmth that Colton’s presence brought my mind tem
porarily left as I could feel his glare almost threatening Ethan to get closer to me. Why is he acting like this?

  “My name,” Ethan said startled, awaking from his hypnotic trance of staring at the wall. “I’m-I’m Ethan.” He stuttered.

  “Oh crap,” Colton looked taken aback, but his brown eyes were stale of emotion, “So you’re Ethan,” He paused. Suddenly, the chivalrous energy fleeted from his eyes, and I could see him look at Ethan with intense interest. It’s almost like he had been waiting to see him for years, and now that he finally had met him, he didn’t know how to respond. There was a long pause, as Colton shifted, a fiery energy emanating off his face. “Well nice to meet you dude. The name’s Colton for me.”

  I exhaled, as the predative look in Colton’s eyes dissolved back into him, and he continued with the conversation, pretending as if that short interaction never even happened. His cool, collected vibe, that felt vaguely familiar, suddenly resurfaced, and I let all my doubts in him fly out the window as I latched onto the part of him that emboldened some of my lost emotions.

  “It’s a joyous pleasure to meet you as well,” Ethan said. I could almost see the anger gushing out of his scabs, it was a vexation strong enough to eat a man alive.

  “Well… okay,” Colton scratched his head feeling the awkward tension. “You guys look so lonely in here, why don’t you come join us outside?”

  I looked at Ethan, “Yeah sure.”

  “Oh yeah, sounds exciting,” Ethan remarked giving a little half roll of his eyes. It appeared to me that all he wanted to do was be alone with his thoughts, and somehow try to dig up an old piece of him.

  We all stood up, despite a reluctant Ethan, and made our way outside.

  The second Colton walked through the doorway the glass door slid open welcoming my lungs to the pleasure of fresh air. Immediately all my airways expanded as a savory, sweet smell filled my nostrils. Towering evergreen trees shaded the seating area welcoming my eyes to a new world. Unlike the barren dessert surrounding Area 51, the land here was a vibrant green. Beyond the dark, brown trees I could see a rolling pasture with what appeared to be dozens of goats. The sun beamed down reflecting off the almost translucent needles on the ends of the thin branches.