Delusional Read online

  My eyes grew wide, and my brain willed my body onward. I had to lean back as I made my way slowly down the mountain, careful not to misplace my foot so that I didn’t go tumbling down thousands of feet to my death. I looked behind me at Dulce, who braced Antonio as he made his way grudgingly down the mountain. Above them the gray rock face jutted up from the earth in a never-ending field of jagged rocks.

  Surrounding me on all sides were lush deciduous trees, their leaves blooming in vibrant yellows and oranges. With every bone-chilling gust of wind bright leaves fell out of the trees and onto the brownish-green grass below. I stared around, taking the beautiful but dying landscape in. All it would take was one snow to push everything around me already on the brink of death over the edge.

  I guess it’s fall. I took a deep breath of the crisp air. When my lungs slowly exhaled the air that released from my mouth evaporated into a fog-like mist. The face-numbing cold permeated through my skin and into my heart. I remember Jacob saying fall in Northern California was full of mild temperatures and cold nights—this didn’t feel like fall one bit. I immediately crossed out the notion that we were in Area 51. Wherever hellish place we were in is certainly surrounded by some beautiful scenery, definitely nothing like the barren desert surrounding Area 51.

  The sun officially rose above the gently sloped mountains on the other side of the lake, illuminating the golden leaves on the trees. Beyond the lake there was a small narrow river, that ran parallel to the mountain ranges on both sides and a great barren field full of dying grass around it.

  I glanced at the tress that dotted the mountain with their tall, skinny, brown trunks and some had white spotted trunks, and felt sympathy for the nature. I looked up at the clear, light blue sky above and sighed.

  The muscles in my legs had long become immune to the pain, they were just stumbling down the mountain, numb to life and ready to give out without a warning at any second. Ethan was barreling down the mountain at a frantic pace, meanwhile, Antonio, who was accompanied by Dulce, lagged hundreds of feet behind.

  I guess no revenge for President Ash, at least not yet. Hopefully I can stop him before he strikes.

  Even with the sun beginning to shine down on the earth below, the air stayed gelid. My fingers were long past the point of numbness, and with every slight movement they were brittle and in pain. The hairs on my arms stood straight up frozen in place, and my thighs were raw even beneath my leggings.

  My teeth chattered back and forth, making a faint clanking sound, and even with the protection of shoes, after thousands of steps down the perilously steep slope towards the lake, my feet were black and blue. But finally, after what felt like hours, the lake stood right in front of me shining brightly.

  The light refracted off the water creating barely visible ripples on the surface. The water looked so pure, so perfect, so refreshing that I couldn’t contain my body from lunging into its liquid goodness. My knees rubbed against the smooth, small rocks lining the shore of the lake and I dived head first into the cold water.

  Cold water rushed my dry taste buds and cracked throat, reviving a new life inside me. The second the fresh, glorious tasting water meandered its way down my throat, my headache began to subside, and my body flooded with feelings of euphoria. It was a beautiful feeling, a beautiful relief, knowing that I could survive.

  I gulped the water down compulsively, unable to quench my insatiable thirst. After a minute, I had to come up for air, only to thrust my head back under the water to continue nourishing my body’s parched, dehydrated cells with the joyous water.

  Even with the size of the lake encompassing many acres, I felt like I could fit the whole thing and more inside of my empty stomach. But that moment was short lived, because in between swigs of water a shooting pain echoed throughout my belly, and I fell weakly back onto the rocks.

  “Crap.” I cursed clutching my stomach. My small intestine felt like it was about to rupture, and the water in my stomach slushed around with my every move.

  “Oh wow,” Ethan gasped, stepping away from the water drunkenly.

  I looked down at my stomach that looked like a bloated water balloon surrounded by a bony rib cage. For the first time in days my now slender belly had some substance to it, but it was a jelly-like nauseating substance that suddenly made me feel tired and defeated.

  My breaths were erratic and heavy, smoke pillowing out of my mouth like exhaust.

  “Ha-ha,” Dulce stammered, “I drank way too much water.”

  “Yeah me too,” I coughed, laying down on the rocks to stare out at the crystal blue waters. Oddly enough, even with my brain screaming at my body to stop drinking I still wanted more.

  “Ah,” Antonio sighed, dipping his swollen, bloody ankle into the cold water. Ripples vibrated through the water, deforming the perfect shapes of white, fluffy clouds reflected in the water. Jutting out into the river were the reflection of the towering, gray mountains with their snowcapped tops.

  I turned around and looked up at the peaks of the row of mountains sky-rocketing miles above the earth, breaking through the clouds and gently kissing the stratosphere with their snow-topped pinnacles. The beauty surrounding us on all ends took my breath away, swept my body off its feet, and almost made my mind forget about the anxiety. Compared to the size of the mountains we were insignificant. Compared to the power of the world we were powerless.

  “This is great,” Ethan kicked his feet back on to the grass, and rested his arms behind his head, just taking in the view.

  “Yeah, I guess you could call it that,” Antonio looked around at the beauty. “Except the fact that there is a numbing pain shooting through my entire body, and the fact that my stomach is growling like a rabid beast for food.” He picked up a rock and chucked it across the lake, and it landed in a splat sinking to the bottom of the water almost instantly. “Screw this!” He screamed, his voice echoing in the valley, “I just can’t take this crap anymore!” He pounded both his fists despite his injured arm down into the earth.

  “Woah,” Dulce held out her arm, “Calm down.”

  “Calm down?’ Antonio questioned, his head snapping in her direction. “You expect me to calm down?” He paused, appearing as if he was trying to swallow some of the anger inside of him. “We are slowly dying! The government tricked us, we fell for their stupid pawn in Colton, and now we are left out here to die!” Tears started pouring out of his eyes as he buried his face into his hands in disgust. “Look at me,” He choked, “Look at me, I’m barely breathing here. I’ve lost enough blood to make a black man look white!” he chuckled madly, a gross combination of tears and laughter. “I’m dying, I’m freaking dying! And as we speak President Ash is rejoicing our imminent deaths back in his stupid penthouse!”

  “Hey, don’t say that,” Ethan tried to comfort him, but a look of paranoia slowly crept into his eyes. “We will live, we can make it through this. This is just another bump in the road, eventually it will pass.”

  “No,” Antonio shook his head, “My mother and father being shot in their heads in front of my eyes was a temporary setback. My siblings slowly dying of disease in the woods of Alabama was something that I managed to overcome.” Tears started to pour out of my eyes just listening to his story. “But this!” He bellowed, “This is impossible! We can’t escape this, don’t you see? We can’t run away from this one.” He shook his head in disgust, “As much as I hate to admit, after all these years President Ash finally won.”

  “I’m sorry.” I muttered softly, placing a hand on his thigh. “I’m so so sorry.”

  “You don’t know that,” Ethan’s eyes had a mad twinkle in them, but his fingers trembled with his every word, “It’s not over yet. There is still hope left. We can all make it through this and get our lives back. And get America back.”

  Antonio sighed brushing a hand through his matted, dirty hair, “I wish you were right. I wish you were right.”

  “But how do you know he’s wrong?” I cried out, maybe I just want
ed to believe, or maybe I just wanted to deny the truth, but it was easier to believe that there was something out there rather than nothing. “How do you know that we might not win?”

  “I don’t. I don’t.” Antonio stared out into the distance in a trance-like state. “I just can’t take this pain anymore! I can’t keep living this way!”

  “But you don’t have to,” Dulce said, “We can find you help, you will heal. And after your better hopefully America is out of the hands of President Ash.”

  “Okay,” Antonio wiped the tears out of his eyes. “Okay.”

  A heavy silence hung over the air, amplified by the heavy feeling in my heart that caused me to hug his bloody, broken body. I could faintly hear the call of birds, and the gentle swaying of the golden, red, and orange trees in the wind as he exhaled into my shoulder, the smell of dirt, sweat, and neck-breaking struggle tickling my nose.

  “C’mon,” Ethan willed his body off the ground, “Let’s go get some food.”

  And without further discussion, we helped Antonio off the ground, and started walking. I don’t think anyone knew where to, but we followed the eyes of our stomachs. The hazy feeling, and throbbing pain in my head returned, making it even harder for me to block out all my emotions. But I decided to fantasize about eating pizza and ice cream to distract me.

  “Hey, does ice cream grow on trees?” I turned and asked Dulce. Her bony face looked so empty and hollow, and I realized that it was the torture, not only the shortage of food, that had carved the life out of her.

  “Gee, I wish.” She smiled, but there was a look of pain that protruded out of the loose skin on her face.

  “Well we should change that.”

  “Yeah,” she responded sighing deeply, “We should change a lot of things.”

  The cold wind carried her voice away, and every bone in my body shivered. I looked ahead at the open field of brownish grass in front of us, and the lake fading out of view behind us. Maybe Antonio was right, the thought slipped into my mind as the dead leaves crunched beneath my feet. Maybe President Ash already won.

  Chapter 15

  I rolled my eyes, “Ethan I don’t think we are gonna find anything over here.”

  “Trust me, just follow me.” He insisted, his tone strong enough to break a wooden block.

  “C’mon,” Dulce said, “Just admit, you don’t know what you’re doing.”

  “But I do!” Ethan looked back at us, a glassy layer coating his broken eyes.

  “Ethan stop pretending like you know where we are,” Antonio said, “We might not even be in America. This could be summer in Siberia for all we know.”

  For hours we had been walking around aimlessly through forests of beautiful deciduous trees, lined with patches of pine trees, and across open fields of grass, providing unrivaled views of the mountains encompassing the valley. It had been at least six hours, and the sun was beginning to set beneath the immeasurably tall summits, yet Ethan was still adamant that he knew where he was going.

  “Just give it up dude,” I looked at him, but didn’t wait for a response, “C’mon guys just follow me.”

  “Oh, why? ‘Cause you know where you’re going?” Ethan asked.

  “No, I don’t actually.” I grinned. “My plan is just to walk straight towards those mountains.” I pointed toward the other range of mountains across the valley with multi-colored peaks covered in trees.

  “I’m with her.” Antonio said, hobbling over to me.

  “Yeah me too,” Dulce said, “Her plan has to be better than just walking in circles in hopes of an apple tree magically appearing in front of us.”

  “Hey,” Ethan smiled, but I could tell he was a little offended, “At least I didn’t get us killed.”

  “Well you would’ve if we kept following you.” Dulce countered.

  “That’s beside the point,” I started walking through the ankle high grass covered in fields of dying flowers and white dandelions. “Let’s go and find some food before it gets dark.”

  “And before we starve to death.” Antonio spoke airily. The blood had soaked through the two shirts we wrapped around his bullet wounds causing a crusty, brown grime to form around his shoulder and ankle. There was no telling how many infections that had, and the longer and longer that passed to find civilization the less hope there was in any of us surviving.

  I placed a hand on my stomach that growled so forcefully that it even scared me. It was my stomach’s bitchy way of letting me know that it needed food right then or it would go behind my back and begin to steal the fat away from my internal organs. But my stomach didn’t need to tell me. My blinding headache, the weak, jelly-like feeling in my legs, and the low pain that had been slowly eating at my insides for weeks were all reminders. Three weeks without an actual meal besides that awful mush and over a day without any food at all.

  Crap. I looked forward at the field that seemed to stretch on forever until another forest sprouted up in the distance, and a feeling of overwhelming anxiety hit me. I can’t continue like this; we can’t make it like this much longer.

  “What if we just shoot a squirrel or something with my pistol?” Ethan questioned, pulling the slick black pistol out of his waistband. I had to jerk my head away to suppress the flood gates in my mind from opening. “I still have a few bullets.”

  “That would be a good idea,” Antonio called out, I didn’t even notice he was falling behind us. “But we haven’t seen a goddam squirrel, or even a goddam living creature all day.”

  “This just doesn’t make sense,” I questioned, “How could we be somewhere so beautiful, so full of nature and not see any animals or humans?”

  Dulce pushed her hair out her face, “Knowing the government they probably shot every single living thing within a hundred miles of this place.”

  “Yeah and we are next.” Ethan blurted out, his eyes wide and unmoving, his lips frozen in the cold weather.

  “No,” Antonio snapped, hobbling at a rapid pace to catch up with us. “Do you not realize what’s happening?” I couldn’t tell whether the next sound that came out of his mouth was meant as a laugh or a sound of grief. “They aren’t going to come after us. That’s why the let us go, because they know we are going to die. Because they know it is a hopeless wasteland out here!”

  I shuddered. I will get my revenge. The dark words flashed across my eyes.

  “We don’t know that for sure.” Ethan looked at me and Dulce, hoping for an answer to reassure him, but I had nothing to give him.

  “Look,” Antonio said, “You don’t have to believe me, but for all we know they are watching us right now, laughing at our stupidity. Laughing that we still have hope!” He ran a hand across his dirty unshaven face, “For all we know this might not even be real. This could be just another elaborate illusion, created by President Ash to torture us.”

  “No,” Ethan shook his head adamantly, “No, No, No. I will refuse to believe that. I will refuse to believe that he has already won. This isn’t over yet!” He held a hand to his chest as it moved up and down. “I’m still breathing, you’re still breathing. And until the life has been forced out of me I will not give up. I will not give into death.”

  “Fine,” Antonio looked up at the far end of the sky that was beginning to turn black. “You may believe what you want, but just remember that when he wants something he gets it. He wants us dead, he will get as he wishes.”

  I looked up at the clouds above, and the beauty encompassing us searching for just one sign of hope. But maybe Antonio was right. Maybe there was no hope. Maybe he really was too powerful.

  I tried to listen to the sounds of the trees undulating in the wind to drown out the silence, an undetected evil that can catch you off guard and slowly unravel your thoughts. I followed the trail of smoke curling out of my mouth. The sun above was deceiving, because despite its brightness an arctic chill resided over the land. The coldness dug so deep into my skin that I could feel it leaving an icy layer around my heart.

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nbsp; “Anyone here!” Dulce echoed, her voice reverberating off the mountains to return to us seconds later.

  “It’s useless.” I commented. Obviously wherever we were, whether Siberia or someone’s backyard no one was there.

  “Are we in a different realm?” Ethan questioned, his eyes squinted as if trying to make out a figure in the distance. “There has to be people around somewhere.”

  “Maybe everyone is dead, and we are the only people left living.” I remarked almost sarcastically although at that point in my life nothing would surprise me. We were beginning to approach the forest with what appeared to be a river coursing through the trees a couple hundred yards away.

  “This is crazy.” Dulce said. “Why did Colton have to get us into this mess in the first place?”

  I immediately objected, the words coming out of me before I could push the feelings in my mind back. “This wasn’t Colton’s fault. President Ash made this all happen. He even said that ‘friends will always betray you’. He must have been confirming that he made Colton betray us. He was the one who turned Colton into a humanoid. Colton didn’t force us in to the government’s trap, President Ash did himself.” My heart panged at the mention of his name causing my eyes to tear up. It might have been ignorant, but I wanted to believe that at least a little bit of his love was genuine. I wanted to believe that it all wasn’t a lie.

  “It was our faults too,” Ethan said, “If we didn’t fall for his trap then maybe everything would’ve been okay.”

  “No,” Dulce glanced back at Antonio, who had a glazed look over his eyes. His body appeared to be on earth, but his mind was on another planet. “We didn’t stand a chance. President Ash wanted the both of you. And he would’ve taken you and anyone around you guys down at any cost to get what he wanted. If we didn’t fall for Colton’s dream-like escape, from the flawed system at the White Knights and danger, then he would’ve found another way to make us conform to his wishes.”

  “So, you’re blaming this on me and Natalie?” Ethan questioned, but there was a fragile tone in his voice.