Delusional Read online

  Dulce was too shocked to move, nevertheless speak. The shock of the moment was a deep pang, that surfaced so quickly and unexpectedly; it immediately caught the attention of my whole body, but in a horrible way. My fingers began to tremble, my breathing became short, and my thoughts scattered. And then my brain completely froze as the aftershock of a wound that would leave a jagged scar on my heart set in.

  Ethan looked up from the ground tears in his eyes, “I just want you to be sure this is really what you want. Because once you make your final decision there is no going back.”

  There was a pause and the temperature seemed to drop another ten degrees. Antonio grimaced, trying to swallow back some of the emotions that were wanting to escape him. “Yes.” He nodded, his body frozen, and his eyes open. “This is what I want.”

  “Okay,” Ethan stood up and wiped the tears from under his eyes. A gust of wind seemed to blow the next words off his tongue.

  I inched towards Antonio, and wrapped my arms around his frail, blood-stained body and for what felt like hours I just cried into his shoulders. I could feel him slowly try to let go, but I wouldn’t let him, I only gripped his body tighter; the tears only came out of me harder.

  It was a desperate feeling, but my arms were locked around him in an unbreakable bond. My heart repudiated the inevitable reality, refusing to let another person slip through the cracks. I didn’t want Antonio to end up like my memories; buried deep underground, far out of reach, in a helpless state for eternity. Buried alive. Buried alive in the anger, the pain, and the sorrow, that was overwhelming me, and those same feelings had already viciously dragged Antonio underneath the surface.

  A freezing gust of wind threw my hair against his body, the tears almost turning to ice on their way out of my eyes. Don’t leave! Don’t do it! The voice in my head screamed, but in my heart, I knew I had to let him go. He was all my memories lost in a nether land; he was all the emotions held up inside me; he was all the things that I couldn’t let go. But I had to do it. He had to do it. It was time.

  I stood up, tears seeping out of me, and my legs shivered either with cold or anxiety. I looked at Antonio, and his big brown eyes, his lovely dark skin, the immaculate curls in his hair, his small ears, and everything else for the last time. I looked away not able to bear any words out of my mouth, not able to stand looking at the heartbroken eyes of Antonio any longer.

  I turned around, where Ethan was already headed out into the darkness, and Dulce was curled up in a ball on the ground, unable to process what was happening. There was another gust of wind, the branches of the trees practically snapping right in my ears, and my eyes met with his glazed over face that suddenly turned extremely calm.

  I mindlessly trotted off into the darkness, following Ethan’s lead, and my eyes said goodbye to Antonio forever. The darkness was cold and menacing, I could almost feel its sinister being sucking the life out of me.

  My legs felt weak, and my mind was tired, but more than ever I had the insatiable urge to escape it all. The cold caused a sharp pain in my lungs with each contraction, and the hard earth below made my feet feel brittle. The trees had a mystical feel to them, but my mind couldn’t seem to suppress the fear that loomed over me.

  I looked up at the stars above, who had appeared to have lost their peculiar glow, fading away until they fizzled into white dwarfs and became completely irrelevant in the cosmos.

  I heard a sharp grunt, or maybe it was a scream, but immediately following it the sound of a singular gunshot echoed through the night sky. Tears continued to stream down my face, but I didn’t let the sadness take over me. I didn’t confide to my emotions, but instead I continued walking forward, following the sounds of Ethan’s footsteps with Dulce right behind me.

  The moon hung high above, providing our only source of light, and of hope. And in the meanwhile, we just kept walking, and walking, and walking, until finally we escaped the world.

  Chapter 17

  We followed the river. We followed its fast, narrow curves, and wide smooth straights pulsing past us like a dream. It was smooth and delicate, yet powerful and reckless. At times, the roar of the river against the rocks would ring in my ears, and other times it would slowly creep by us. The mountains still encased us, their jagged peaks towering to ungodly heights above the surface we were on. Each point—each inch of rock—taking hundreds of millions of years to carve, appeared in front of us in their masterful form. The snow topped peaks glimmered in the cold rays of the sun, shining like a treasure of sorts that was miles out of reach.

  We continued to walk, and never really stopped. Our legs moved through the pain and weariness, trying to escape what was closing in on us; trying to escape the inescapable. We continued to the point of madness, trotting through our own endless wasteland. Although my body was on earth, my brain was on another planet.

  On the second night, it snowed. The white flurries at first pouring out of the dark, gray clouds above in a soft, majestic manner. I remember sticking out my tongue, laughing, as I caught each snowflake one by one. At first it seemed harmless, in fact it was enjoyable. The snowflakes falling gracefully to the earth and blanketing the landscape in a soft layer of snow, causing everything to look like a winter wonderland.

  But then things started to pick up. The snow no longer fell in light, dispersed droplets from the sky, instead they fell in a heavy, blinding sheet. It was complete white-out, the intensity of the snow making it impossible to see just a few feet in front of you. We huddled beneath the base of a large pine tree, trying to shelter ourselves from the snow that whirled around us with the ever-increasing wind picking the snow up in gales off the ground and sending it launching into the sky. For hours, the snow raged as a beast of its own. It was angry, menacing, and cold as hell. The ice was penetrating through my skin, threatening to freeze us to death, and I had to force my mind to be completely removed from the pain and the chaos. I was convinced we were going to die, convinced that this was the inescapable wrath of President Ash preying on us viciously.

  I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the thin air, and exhaled, the vapor spewing out of my mouth in wispy curls of smoke. My legs were numb, and my eyelids were practically frozen in place; the arctic chill had finally begun to take its toll.

  Thankfully, there was no wind in that moment, but it didn’t matter. The cold still found its way, as it always does, to seep through my skin and sink in to my pores.

  Besides a few stragglers, dangling helplessly from the branches, all the deciduous trees had lost their bright beautiful coats, leaving a mass grave of leaves buried beneath the snow. I looked at one leaf that fell to the ground, failing to withstand the crippling pressure of the inches of snow piled above.

  The snow was endlessly deep, and with every step my feet sunk further and further into its wrath. The numbing cold had corroded the leather in my shoes, the warm cloth of my socks, and made its way to my feet. And now the coldness was beginning to suck the very life out of me and desensitize every neuron in my body.

  I need warmth. I stared around at the cold sky above, frigid air around me, and snow-covered ground below. We can’t make it out here much longer.

  Yesterday, after the blizzard, we found a bridge that arched over the river and a road that curled to follow the river downstream. Ethan suggested that we cross the bridge and follow the river, after all, once the road cleared up there was bound to be cars driving down it, and people.

  Dulce, and I grudgingly followed Ethan who had already made his mind up and was halfway across the river. In that moment, Ethan could have told me that he was walking through a pit of lava and I would have probably subconsciously followed him.

  I only allowed my mind to venture off into certain places, but the second it crossed that fine line I instantly reeled my thoughts back in. I don’t think my brain even thought of the word Antonio or Colton, instead I choose to block it out, along with the firestorm of emotions that would ignite if I allowed that one spark to flicker.
r />   Impulsively, however, I would gaze in intervals at the river, almost anticipating a red stream followed by a lifeless body to float down it.

  Ethan and Dulce both seemed to be dealing with everything in different manners. Dulce’s response, much like mine, was to completely shut down from everything. Her pale, bony face, was emotionless, and her thick lips sealed tight. Ethan reacted completely the opposite, he would talk incessantly for hours and ramble on about mindless crap, just begging me or Dulce to budge, but we were already locked behind a veil, that shielded us from the emotions.

  Once we crossed the bridge we still ventured downstream, trotting through the inches of snow that smothered the earth. Even then, two days after the storm, the snow had failed to even melt an inch, and the road was still rendered impassable.

  The scenery around us morphed slowly. The beautiful snow-covered marsh grass that lined the banks of the river, changed to thick forests of pine trees stretching for miles as the road veered away from the river. Surrounding everything were the omnipresent peaks of the mountains, that lined the edges of the new world we were trapped inside.

  “One more mile to Jackson, Wyoming.” Ethan called out, pointing up at a green sign at the edge of the road.

  “Where’s that?” I asked.

  “Somewhere in the United States.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Wow, gee thanks Ethan, I know exactly where we are now.”

  “No, but seriously,” Ethan’s eyes widened, “I think it’s a town, which means we will find people.”

  I looked around at the vast expanse of nothingness and had trouble believing him. To the right there was an empty pasture covered in snow, and to the left there was nothing but a dense timberland, shrouded in darkness from the snow.

  “Hopefully.” Dulce muttered softly, looking back up at the sun that was beginning to set beneath the peaks. It had been four days since we had escaped from the government’s hidden compound, and finally the numbness in my body subsided, as a cold pain resided over me.

  My entire body trembled, my teeth chattered, and the freezing feeling inside me was replaced with a shooting pain. The hunger and thirst were finally starting to win, the pain was finally causing me to cave in. Every step was another momentous feat. Every breath was a struggle.

  The sun was now fading behind the mountains, and the darkness along with another layer of cold was preparing to sweep over the land. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore it all.

  “No way!” Ethan screamed. “Look there’s lights.”

  I focused my eyes forward, where the glow of electricity emanated into the dusk, almost like it was calling for us.

  “Yes…” I stared at it with my mouth draped open. My mind short circuited, having trouble deciding if what it was registering was real or just one of many dreams President Ash had been sending to my brain over the past few days, while my body leaped forward towards the light. My senseless feet bounced off the snow, and with every step I feared they would smash into a thousand pebbles.

  We dashed pass a wooden sign that welcomed us into the town of Jackson, Wyoming, and in front of us a row of buildings became visible. However, jutting out from one of the buildings was a large granite façade, that encased the street and surrounding buildings.

  “What is that?” I screamed. There was a rustic, wooden general store and behind it towered an intimidating wall with spikes lining the top of the it, and a large red sign that warned: Keep Out.

  A blinding light sliced through the darkness and glimmered off the snow below. Instantly, the stillness around us transformed into chaos.

  “Stop or we’ll shoot!” I heard a voice bellow through a megaphone and the click of a gun.

  My body fell to the ground in panic. The soft, but sinisterly cold snow enveloped my body. Suddenly I could feel my mind slipping from the surface of reality as everything seemed to let go.

  No. No. No. My entire body froze with fear, or maybe with the numbing coldness, but everything grew motionless.

  It took only a few seconds for my ears to register the sounds of footsteps trudging through the snow towards us, accompanied by a chorus of screams. I looked up at the night sky that dazzled with wondrous stars and bolted into a run.

  But it was already too late.

  I tripped on a rock, my body falling pathetically to the snowy ground.

  Then, the thick, warm, gloves slid under my body, my flailing arms and legs doing nothing to throw them off me.

  “They are in bad shape.” A woman from behind shouted through the cold.

  “We gotta get them to the hospital as quickly as possible.” Another woman yelled from behind as the man carrying me, picked his pace up into a full out sprint.

  I could feel my body slowly slipping, the bouts of shaking coming in violent, erratic spouts. I squirmed in his arms, my cold, stiff body, revulsing at the touch of his warmth. In the quick flashes that I got of him I noticed he was a middle-aged man with a scruffy beard, and creases around the edges of his eyes.

  I screamed and flailed my arms in a wild roundabout motion. The ice was freezing my nerves, constricting my blood vessels, and driving me to the point of insanity

  “Calm down.” The man held me even tighter to stifle my wriggling.

  I heard the monstrous, metallic screech of two gates opening, and in seconds they closed in a resounding pang behind us. The soft touch of snowflakes grazed over my face and brushed up against my body.

  Around us the yelling of dozens of people ensued, but my eyes were focused on the stars above that shook with my body. The air was cold and heavy, and it pressed down on my lungs, causing the fear and anxiety to bubble up to the surface.

  “Is that Natalie Parker, and Ethan Blaine?” I heard the bewildered shouts of a few from the crowd.

  “No that can’t be them.” Said one.

  “There’s no way they made it out…”

  I coughed, a putrid hack. A hot acid began to rise from my core, slowly replacing the numb, chilling sensation with a skin-peeling burn. It was the kind of heat, that was so sudden, and so extreme, that it drove my body to a state of paranoia. I found my hands maniacally tearing at my clothes, as the man struggled to keep me at bay.

  I felt my body slam against a soft, but firm surface, and I could sense everything rushing around me as I was carted away. It’s the government! I screamed inaudible words in a panic. They’re gonna take us back in.

  Violently, I was thrusted upward. I heard two doors close and click shut, and two faces with white surgical masks tied over their mouths peered down at me. My heart just about stopped in its place, as my eyes frozen with terror met their gazes that were wide with shock.

  Before any of us could react or even register the situation unfolding around us, the engine revved below and the tires grinded against the packed down snow beneath us. Where are they taking me? I looked up, blinded by the bright light flashing down from above. Sweat dripped down my face profusely in thick, cold beads that soaked my shirt and only caused me to breathe harder. Something around me smelled like it was dying.

  “Stay down.” I heard a stern voice that was indistinguishable from man or woman, and then a hand hit down on my neck, forcing me back down onto the surface below me.

  “What are we doing?” A girl hissed behind me. I could tell by the heavy feeling of the air that I was not welcome.

  “I don’t know... we can’t do anything until Nova finds out about this.”

  I tried to catch a glance of them, but they were narrowly out of my view. What are they talking about, who’s Nova?

  The silence that followed was painful. I laid motionless, as the two people behind me stood unmoving. They had a passive way about them, unlike the assertive forceful way of most government officials. I looked around at the medical equipment lining the walls, all accompanied by a brightly colored warning label. Something just didn’t feel right. The tepidness in the air, the timid way about them; they didn’t feel like the government.

  The tires suddenl
y came to a muddled stop on top of the layers of snow that blanketed the earth. I could hear a swarm of people rushing through the snow as the doors of the automobile opened and I was forced out at a frantic pace. The tires below me screeched against the wet pavement below, and my body shuddered at the pang of coldness that hit me. Maybe it was just a natural reaction, but seemingly something inside me malfunctioned causing every muscle in my body to be trapped in a state of endless sleep, and no matter how loud I screamed at them to wake up, they laid there unresponsive.

  My heart pounded in my chest as another row of doors slid open, and a round of warm air blasted my body, causing my skin to feel moist and itchy. I glanced around at the dozens of heads whirling past me, all with the same dumbfounded look strewn across their faces. Some wore the long, pristine white coats that doctors wear, while others wore turquoise scrubs.

  The heaviness in the air was unprecedented. It caved in on my lungs and left a hazy feeling in my head. The humidity made it feel like a thunderstorm could unleash itself upon me at any moment, and by the angry looks beginning to grow on the people’s faces, my guess was that it would be soon.

  A singular ding cut through the air, as I was automatically wheeled forward into an elevator. The elevator was lined with mirrors and I caught the reflection of a man staring at me, with a dark, angry look in his eyes.

  I gulped. The man was tall and lanky, with gray hair, and a clean-shaven face. His eyes were brown and had the cold feel of stone that made every hair on my arm stand up with fear.

  The elevator dinged again, and the doors slid open, causing his eyes to drift away. He followed me down the long hallway, my back glued down to the surface beneath me, and my eyes transfixed on the light fixtures that passed overhead.

  We made a sharp right turn into a small room with no windows, and a single dim light left the walls shrouded in a veil of darkness. A group of people swarmed my body, one holding me by my legs, as the other lifted my back off the surface beneath me. My brain screamed at my body to flail wildly, but my muscles hung loose and unresponsive.