Delusional Read online

  She paced around a bit and cleared out her throat. My skin grew hot at the mention of my name, and my lungs grew heavy under the dense air that felt suffocating due to the lack of windows. I looked around in a fit of panic, the claustrophobic feeling of the room giving me anxiety. I could just picture the beige colored walls closing in on us and trapping me in a room with Danielle and a bunch of old men for the rest of my life. That is truly what hell is probably like.

  “As we all know our ultimate goal is to take over the United States Government and implement a rising form of democracy, in which all citizens vote for law and regulations as individuals and national, scientific, and economic problems are solved using the collective intelligence of a hive mind of all the thoughts of everyone in the country. In order to do this, we must first take a series of steps, the first being taking possession of and destroying the mind control program and eliminating President Ash. After this we will begin to attack a number of government strong holds, and eventually retake Washington D.C.” My ears hurt with the ferocity of her voice that echoed off the walls.

  “Now, we can’t just go ahead and take these drastic actions against the current government. The real first step, the most important step, is uniting the people of America behind us, and behind our cause so that they support the actions that we must take.

  “As of right now we are a fractured country with hundreds of millions divided among multiple parties, and millions more grouping together to try and secede from the U.S.” She paused and stared at the map behind her that depicted the areas of the country that the Retributioners, White Knights, thousands of smaller rebel groups, and the Government had majority support in. There were also relatively large chunks of the U.S. where supporters of a secession from the U.S. were clustered and places where total anarchy was occurring.

  “Even though we could try to point out the flaws in the other groups, this would risk alienating a large portion of the population from supporting our cause. The real way to gain the most support, and therefore to eventually regain this country, is to unite the people behind a common enemy. Therefore, in order to win this civil war and in order to get back our beloved country, we must unite the people behind defeating the common enemy: President Ash.” There was a deadly sharpness to her voice as she mentioned his name. My mind suddenly clicked as I realized the real reason that she saved us from our deaths.

  “That’s why we need you two.” She looked at us and smiled, but there was a look of pure determination in the core of her eyes. “Recently Natalie and Ethan were both held in the Teton Laboratory, a structure designed by President Ash himself to research the brains of animals. There is no doubt in my mind, that during their time there they endured an immeasurable amount of horror, and that they experienced the true wrath of President Ash. My hope is that by telling their story not only to us, but to the whole nation, that it will inspire tens of millions of people to realize that other Americans, cyber terrorists, or even mind control itself is not the enemy. I hope that by listening to both of you guys’ stories that the people will truly grasp that the greatest threat to our nation’s future is the pure evil of President Ash.”

  All eyes turned towards me and Ethan. I could feel their energy pulsing against my skin and beads of sweat ran down the sides of my face, as I looked at the holograph, and noticed a huge “X” over Area 51. They must be planning a mission there; we need to go.

  “So,” Danielle spoke noticing the complete and utter silence from the both of us. “Now is the time to tell us your story, to tell your firsthand account of President Ash.”

  There was another round of silence. I glanced at Ethan, who was staring back in Danielle’s direction in a show of defiance. Before I even had processed her words, my lips had innately been sealed shut, and all the muscles in my body ceased to move. Just at the prospect of going back to the hell, my mind had thrown up its internal defense system.

  “I know this must be hard for you, I know it’s a lot to ask of you. But you have to realize that President Ash almost never leaves Ash Tower, the fact that he traveled all the way to California to capture you guys is very telling.” She paused, “The fact of the matter is that you two might be the only ordinary people to have ever experienced the true evil form of President Ash, and having that experience makes it your privilege to show America, who he really is.”

  “This isn’t about America,” Ethan blurted out. “C’mon let’s get real here, you know that you only want us to tell our story to help you gain power, not help anyone.”

  She managed to smile, but there was a darker look beneath surface of her expression. “I wouldn’t say that.”

  “It’s about the American people.” A man with dyed black hair spoke up and rescued her. “And since we care about them we know that our leadership will be what’s best for them. A type of leadership that takes away the power in federal governments and even local governments, and gives each individual a voice in local, state, and national law-making.” He smiled warmly, “That is what the American people need, we just need them to realize that.”

  Danielle looked at him graciously, “I couldn’t have said it better, Gary. We are doing this for America. We hope that once hearing both of you guys’ stories that the people will realize what they really need is us, and in order to do that, we need both of you to tell us what happened.”

  Both of our mouths were frozen shut, and with every passing second the frustration became more and more visible on Danielle’s face “I don’t have patience for this.” She hissed viciously. “I brought you guys all the way here—saved you from your deaths. The least you guys can do is repay me.”

  Nothing but silence and another round of disdainful looks from Danielle. “Okay, look I get it,” her voice was a bit calmer now, “It was a traumatizing experience for both of you, but keeping it inside isn’t going to help. The best way to deal with things is to get it all out on the table, and that’s all that we are asking you to do.”

  “What if we made a deal?” My voice sounded scratchy when I finally spoke, and everyone turned to me, including Ethan, and they all looked at me bewildered.

  Danielle ran a hand through her black hair, “What exactly do you mean?”

  “Well you need our help, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “And we need your help.”

  “Well with what?”

  I looked at Ethan with a smile edging the corners of my mouth. “We need our memories back, we need our life back. And we were wondering, that if in exchange for telling you what happened with President Ash, that we would be allowed to somehow retrieve our memories from Area 51.”

  There was a long silence, and I could see a wave of annoyance surface in her puckered lips, but she immediately pushed it back, and spoke calmly. “I would really love to get your memories back,” My eyes lit up with joy. “…but it frankly is just too impossible to accomplish.”

  “How could it be impossible? Can’t you just hack into the computer that holds our memories in Area 51, or just send us in to manually retrieve them when you attack it?” I glanced around at the twenty or so people that just stared at me blankly in return. All their lips were pressed tightly closed, some even trying to restrain the words from spilling out of them

  “No of course not.” Danielle’s voice boomed off the walls. “We can’t just hack into the mainframe of Area 51, it would take years to get past their fire wall. And I will refuse to send you two, inside of Area 51, it’s just too dangerous to take that risk. We can’t afford to lose, maybe, our two most valuable people in our entire organization.”

  “Danielle,” Ethan grinned, but there was a menacing look in his eyes. “Don’t bullshit us. We know that you can just as easily send a group of soldiers to retrieve our memories from Area 51, during your attack. We don’t even need to be involved. It’s not impossible to get our memories back, you just don’t want to do it!”

  She stared at Ethan for a long second, unmoving besides maybe the slight twitch of a
n eye. I could see her fists vibrating, the anger causing her body to shake with emotion. “Fine!” She bellowed so loud I was afraid all the windows in the room would shatter, except there was no windows. “I don’t need you to tell me your story! Have it your way!” She paused, and everyone glanced up at her tentatively, fearing that she would begin to unload her anger on them as well. “This meeting is over!”

  I scrambled to the door fearing that her mouth, that was frothing with anger, would bite me. Before I exited the room, I looked in a hurry at all the people that glanced at me sympathetically, and then at Danielle who had too many bulging veins in her forehead to count. Ethan followed quickly behind me, just missing his fingers in the deafening roar of the door slamming shut that shook the entire building with its intensity.

  We both took a few steps away from the door just for good measure, before both looking at each other with wide eyes.

  “What is her problem?” My heart was still beating rapidly in my chest from the seer fervor of her scream.

  “I don’t know,” Ethan looked beside himself, “But she is delusional.”

  “Bat shit crazy!” I added.

  “Yeah, all I know is that she is hiding something from us, something big.”

  “I agree, but how do we find out?”

  There was a short silence. “Natalie, I know how.” Ethan smiled. “We have to get our memories back.”

  Chapter 21

  The second my eyes shot open I knew it was her. I touched my pillow that was drenched in sweat and tears, and instantly my mind was brought back to the immeasurable horrors. I could practically hear his belligerent screams echoing in my brain and feel the pain of his every blow. Instantly, I shot up in bed, breathing hard and sweating profusely.

  I stared around at the darkness in a sort of limbo, not knowing whether to tap into the stream of tears ready to pour out of me or let the volcano of anger vent out its heat.

  It was her. I threw the covers off my warm, soggy skin, and chucked a pillow across the room in my rage. She stole them. All my memories… gone.

  There was a vile taste in my mouth, and a numbing pain in my brain. I stumbled towards the door, beginning to feel the foundation of my mind and body crumbling. I need some fresh air. I need to escape this.

  I walked out into the hallway, lined in soft carpet, and shut the door to my room silently. I inhaled for a few long seconds, and exhaled letting the tears, frustration, and hatred flow out of me. I was going mad; there was this irresistible urge coursing through my veins and screaming in my head, to do something.

  Then I felt another body slide next to me and a warm hand moved from my shoulder, all the way down to my hand. I stood up in a daze, and through the film of tears coating my eyes, I saw Ethan.

  The skin beneath his eyes looked swollen, and his beautiful hair was uncombed and messy. He too had tears streaming down his face, but there was a different kind of emotion in his eyes. Instead of anger, fear, or even sadness, determination emanated from his pupils, and the heat from its flame had warmed his entire body.

  He tugged at my arm, urging me to follow him, and I did. His legs were moving fast, frantically almost, like he was running away from something. We soon reached the end of the hallway, and he barged open a door that led to an, old, cement staircase that probably hadn’t been used in years. Parts of the steps were stained beyond recognition and everywhere it absolutely reeked. I could feel my brain pull back, suddenly getting a weird vibe from the whole situation, but my body moved onward and followed him all the way up the staircase to another door.

  He glanced back at me, and there ironically was a little grin at the corners of his mouth and the same fiery look in his eyes. He put his hand on the rickety handle and opened the door, and my heart stopped. A wave of anxiety overcame me as I pictured government officials storming us, or Danielle standing at the other end of the door with her signature, creepy smile showing off her bleach white teeth.

  However, the moment was a bit anti-climactic compared to the way I pictured it, because the only thing that attacked my body as he opened the door was a blast of cold air. The coarse pavement scraped away at my bare feet and the cold air sliced into my frail arms.

  “Where are we going?” I tried to force the words out, but they still were barely audible by the time they reached the tip of my tongue. I looked back at the door that was surrounded by a little brick shack of sorts and wished that we could go back inside to the heat.

  “Just look,” Ethan’s whisper carried to me in the autumn night breeze. I followed where his eyes drifted to, and instantly all the fear, anger, and sadness subsided for the briefest of moments, and amazement filled my eyes.

  There it was in front of us, towering above the water the hundreds upon hundreds of buildings of Manhattan glowing in their heavenly light. The steel, glass, and even some wood skyscrapers spiraled high into the air, yet their different colored lights refracted onto the surface of the east river in luminous waves. The night sky was completely barren of stars, and, instead, dark clouds dotted the landscape and draped over Manhattan ominously. The city had a slightly different energy to it than the first time I saw it, maybe it was just a change in me, but everything seemed a little more heavy and dreary. The dark things began to stand out more; they even began to bother me.

  The crumbling, deserted buildings of the boroughs that surrounded the city looked dead at night except for the few sporadic lights.

  “Nice view from the roof top eh,” Ethan looked all around taking in the perfect view of North Brother’s Island and absorbing the city skyline in all its detail. I continued following him as he moved closer and closer toward the brick wall that jutted out from the edge of the roof, until he sat with his legs straddling it.

  “What are you doing?” My eyes went wide as I looked down at the five-story drop that led to hard pavement. Falling on that would not be a pretty sight.

  “C’mon,” Ethan’s voice was calm, his whole body looked loose and care free. “You’re not gonna fall. I’ll catch you.”

  I looked at him, and then back at the torn-up pavement of the roof, and the light emanating from the several buildings that lined the exterior of North Brother Island. I’ve got nothing to lose anyways. I sat next to him, my legs straddling the brick wall too, and felt another cool breeze blow some of my hair into my face.

  I suddenly wished I had brought something else to wear, after all I was only wearing a tank top and sweatpants, but from the expression on Ethan’s face, he didn’t seem to mind. There was special glow in his eyes, that almost shined brighter than the plethora of lights behind him, as his lips parted to create the slightest of smiles.

  “What are you smiling about?” My voice cracked, and I could feel my throat on the verge of breaking. I could barely muster up enough courage to force the few words out.

  “I finally get it.” He looked at the dark water that shimmered below with an expression of pure content across his face, but there was also a hint of anger visible in his stature. For a second, I thought he was going to stand up on the ledge of the roof and jump off.

  “Get what?” I finally said after a long silence, my voice ripe with urgency.

  “Life, people, the world.” He looked at me softly and put his hand on my shoulder. Our bodies were just inches apart and his warmth pressed up against my body, enticing me to be absorbed in it. “Natalie, we can’t stop this. We can’t keep them from taking us. We can’t keep them from wanting power. There’s nothing we can do to stop any of it.” Despite his words, he looked anything but defeated. There was a certain empowerment in his eyes that I had never seen before.

  “Well then what can we do?” My voice was frail and weak, and I could barely make out his dark skin through the tears in my eyes. I shivered as another cold breeze ensued.

  “We can take control of our own lives. We can control our own reactions. And Natalie,” the fire in his eyes burned so bright I was afraid his eyeballs would start to melt. “I know how we should reac
t.”

  I stayed silent. I was unable to control my quivering lips to utter a single word. I felt psychologically drained, my brain was stuck in a permanent lull, and I needed something to bring me out of it.

  “Natalie, we have to get our memories back.”

  I looked at him, and I could feel his hand slide down my cold arm and stop, where my hand was resting on my thigh. There was a purpose in his voice, a drive that was missing before. The fire in his eyes was not a look of hope, it was a look of revenge.

  “But… how?” Thoughts dashed through my mind and bounced wildly off the walls of my brain, causing a mad jumble of words in my head.

  “We are gonna go with the Retributioners to Area 51.”

  “But what about Danielle?”

  He smiled, “She won’t know about it. We will get help from Justin. We will get our memories back.”

  “But what if Justin doesn’t want to help us anymore? What if we get caught? What if it’s impossible to get our memories from Area 51?”

  Ethan inched closer to me, his voice was strong and defiant now. “Then we will find a way to get it done. We will find a way to make it work.”

  “I think you might be right.” I smiled. “I think this is exactly what we have to do.”

  “We have to do this together.” His body slowly inched closer to mine. “We will either die as one or live on finally having ourselves again. This country needs us, this world needs us.”

  He sighed and looked me right in my eyes. “Hell, we need us.”

  In that moment, time seemed to stop as he leaned his head in closer to me, and I could feel my lips innately gravitating towards his. Another worldly energy pulled our lips together, and the second they connected I felt a surge of adrenaline rush through me.

  A familiar feeling coursed through my veins that seemed to cause me to soar above my body. All emotion was gone besides the feeling of pure bliss. I practically climbed on top of him, my body just aching to get closer to his, my mind begging for a sweet escape. His lips tasted dry, and bland, and his body was skinny and bony, however I still wanted more. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me even closer until our bodies were practically intertwined. We moved around both gracefully and erratically, at points I thought I was about to go flying off the roof, but something about the imminent danger made it feel wilder and exhilarating.