Delusional Read online

  The second his skin met my thin hospital gown a chilling sensation ran down my spine, I knew something wasn’t right about this man. And instantly I had the feeling that something horrible, something more sinister than anything I could imagine, made him this way.

  The clank of both our steps in synchronization echoed down the gray hallway. We were the only people, the only sounds, and the only things down in the depths of Area 51. The lights suspiciously flickered on and off just as the streetlights of Scottsdale always did as the vibe grew dark and ominous. The air smelled plain and was heavy, and the dull grayness around us seemed to bleed together. The balefulness was almost calming, but I began to feel sick in my stomach.

  I could feel the presence of a minacious creature lurking; I could suddenly sense that my end was near. After minutes of walking in a nerve-wracking silence we finally approached a door which slid open automatically as I was shoved through it with almost no exertion from the man behind me.

  At the center of the room was a single chair with a man and a woman standing behind it. The woman had short black hair, with dark brown eyes. Her skinny body and pointy head resembled a hook ready to dig into me. The man was bald and pudgy. His dark skin and brown eyes stared at me deplorably.

  Then I noticed in the dim light emitted from the screens, hanging from a thin wire, an EEG cap. It hung just above the chair reminding me of the blade on a guillotine.

  “Sit down,” the woman commanded, eyeing me as if I was a rabid animal.

  I obeyed silently. Once I sat down, I peered up at the cap and knew it was evil from the heavy, black energy that seemed to emanate off it. The guard firmly placed it on my head, the electrodes molding around my skull.

  I tried to squirm out of the chair, but restraints were placed on my wrists forcing me still.

  The screen directly in front of me switched to a screen full of files, and one folder was clicked on. It read: Natalie Parker’s Memory.

  I watched transfixed as the download neared completion, completely beside myself at what method they were about to begin using to torture me. But, then the light bulb turned on in my head and I realized just what was going on.

  I’m done. Cold sweat lined the edges of my forehead as I tried desperately to escape. Every muscle fiber in my body screamed with pain as I tried to burst through the restraints and save myself from my inevitable doom.

  “Download complete.” The pleasant voice calmly stated, just like they were downloading a song or an app onto the computer. But in reality, they had just downloaded my conscious.

  A fire of pure resentment erupted inside me as I realized the truth in what they just had done. I tried to scream out in objection, but my lips were glued together with fear. My whole body started to slowly tremble in shock. There was nothing I could do to stop them; they have all my thoughts, all my memories, and all my dreams. And now the sick-fucks can do whatever they desire.

  Suddenly the memories of my life flashed in front of me as they sifted through my most personal, most private moments until they finally found what they wanted. The movie of my life was playing out in front of us as seen from my eyes, and all the government agents in the room had a first-person view inside my life.

  The accuracy of it all was scary. The chaos of the government’s siege of Camp Camel, or the panic I felt the day my Dad flew to San Francisco and never came back played out in front of us exactly as I remembered it. It almost felt like I was reliving my own hell, kind of like the sensation you feel when you watch a really good movie for a second time except this movie causes unimaginable amount of trauma to pour into your brain every time you watch it.

  I closed my eyes, trying to imagine the wondrous world that we could be surrounded in and the unbelievable amounts of material and emotional wealth that our society could withhold. But people like President Ash had to deliberately take it all away from us and deprive of us of the basic human right to think freely. People like President Ash had to let the ignorance and greed take over, and through their manipulation and lies cause something that could have been perfect to tear apart the foundation of which our society is built on.

  People like my dad. Tears started to poke at the edges of my eyes just from me thinking about him and all the love that he brought into my life. Its ignorance like him. It’s the ability to look at reality, look at the inevitable, and still believe a lie: that it could be flawless. I took a deep breath, trying to hold back a crazed scream. He was stupid. Did he actually think all this would work out? Did he actually believe that a man, especially one like President Ash, would take something that is good for everyone, over something that is beyond amazing for himself?

  I sighed looking up at the video playing of Hunter, Ethan, and I in Area 51. We were just stepping off the plane and I could feel the sudden anxiety that overcame me during that moment. It was so weird to watch your memories, it makes me feel like I’m reliving those crazy hectic days when I wasn’t sure what quite was going to happen next, but I knew where I wanted to be heading. But it’s all over now, I have finally woken up to the real world. The evil, backstabbing, selfish world that we live in, and now it’s time for me to leave it.

  The video suddenly paused, the guards were seemingly done deciphering my memories for evidence about what happened, and they didn’t even have to ask me one question. One of the guards walked over to me and attached another wire to the mess of electrodes on my head.

  “Natalie,” A tall slender man emerged from the darkness breaking the silence. His tone was ominously giddy, and his eyes were piping with excitement, “It’s time to say goodbye to yourself, and hello to a new you.”

  He leaned over me, his pointy, long, white beard illuminated by the light, but his face was covered in blackness.

  “What’s happening?” I whimpered, managing to croak out the tiniest sound despite me being scared out of my mind.

  “Oh Natalie, don’t be silly. When you wake up, you won’t remember a thing. It will all just feel like a dream.”

  I peered up at him absolutely terrified as they clicked on the file that held my memory. A bunch of options appeared, and the clicker slowly hovered over one. My eyes grew wide, as I finally realized what was happening. They are mind wiping me. They are deleting my memory.

  But before I could even react I watched as they clicked the delete button and I silently said goodbye to myself forever. This is it. I thought. This is the end. Natalie Parker as we all know her is dead.

  I instantly blacked out as my thoughts, like everything else inside me, turned to nothingness.

  Chapter 2

  My eyes fluttered open, and instantly my body shot up. Where am I? I rubbed my eyes to make sure it all wasn’t just a dream. Everything around me looked hazy, it was like there was a menacing cloud of fog covering my brain. I just couldn’t think straight.

  I started to slowly graze my hands over the thin sheet I was under and the coarse gray wall next to me. It all felt mysterious, foreign almost.

  Everything felt unfamiliar actually. I peered down at my flimsy, slightly tan forearms and ran a hand against my soft, yet dry skin but none of it felt like it was mine. I stared at my reflection beaming off the metal below the cot, longing to find something that looked like me. My warm brown eyes; my small, round ears; my large, refined nose; my slender, cotton soft cheeks; but when I looked at my reflection ever so closely, I felt like a stranger was staring back at me. The way my chest went in and out ever so slightly with my breath; the way my long eye lashes batted together every time I blinked; the way I sat there with my legs crossed; none of it was me.

  The body that I’m in is not mine. This entire world is not the one I belong in. The thought passed through my mind as I finally came to the realization that I did not remember what I looked like, what my name is, what my favorite things to do are, who my family is, or even where I come from; I don’t remember anything.

  My breathing suddenly stopped, and I laid on the floor in shock. I repeated to myself aloud pronounci
ng every syllable slowly, “I don’t know anything.” The voice that diffused from my mouth sounded alien-like, but my brain instinctively knew what it said.

  I stared up at the ceiling for the longest time, deliberately trying to remember something that hadn’t happened since I woke up, but I couldn’t. It was one of those moments when the thought was trapped on the tip of my tongue, but it just couldn’t come out. I tried to think about what was happening logically, but there was no logical reason for me to appear in the middle of a gray room that smells like crap.

  I felt like I was born yesterday, cause I remember no experiences in my life before then. But looking down at my body there is no way I was born just yesterday—there is no way that much happened that quickly. But then what happened? Why can’t I remember anything? And what’s going to happen to me next?

  I sat down and thought about the things I did know, rather than the things that had vanished from my mind. I know how to walk, talk, and move my body. I remember semantics and facts such as what objects look like, where places are located, simple mathematics, generalities about the world and emotions and people. But I know nothing specific about my life. I have no idea who I am. The only explanation is that someone must have done this to me; someone must be after me.

  The hairs on my arms stood straight up as my teeth began to tremble. I sensed a danger lurking—it was my instinct. Even though I had no experiences to base my fear off, I’m pretty sure that being locked in a small cramped room, with no food or water is probably a good sign something is wrong.

  My eyes feverishly scanned the room, but after the realization that I was helplessly trapped I quickly began to panic. In a desperate effort to try and escape, I stood up and jiggled the door knob with all my might, but it wouldn’t budge. I kicked the stone wall, but my foot bounced right off it and a shooting pain rocketed through my right leg.

  “Ugh!” I hit my fist against the wall sending vibrations through my hand. Even in the silence, which should have felt comforting, I could hear screams in the back of my mind. A mysterious, almost deceitful fear was burgeoning through every fiber of my being until the pulse of my fretful heart rate zapped my body into a state of anguished shock.

  I sighed and sat down. My throat felt dry and cracked, and my stomach creaked as sound waves rumbled through its empty intestines. Time went by lethargically, and every second that passed weighed down on me as I anticipated the onslaught. I tried to lose my conscious into the realm of dreams, but there wasn’t much to think about, and there was no way for me to tell how long I had been thinking of it. After all, it is possible that I had existed there forever in that one moment, or it could be possible that the one moment didn’t even exist. Everything could all just be an illusion—a nightmare that I would one day wake up from.

  Helplessly, I continued sitting there, searching through my brain for just one memory of something—anything really—but there was none. Not one person, not one event, not even one breath do I remember taking in my body. It was all just blank space in the dark web inside my head.

  Just as my debilitating fear was beginning to peak, a loud sound suddenly echoed in my ears. The door forcefully swung open as a person with broad shoulders and sharp, narrow eyes walked in. My eyes widened with fascination, it was my first time seeing a real, actual human being, even though I could picture what one looks like from the colorless bank of semantic memories in my mind. I looked up at him keenly, I couldn’t decide if he was here to help me or hurt me, but I really hoped he had food.

  “Get up,” He demanded his voice was so loud it rattled my brain. Slightly disappointed that he had no food or water, but startled by his sudden eruption, I scrambled to my feet.

  He put one hand on my back and thrusted me through the doorway, and out into a long narrow hallway. The lighting was very dim, and the vastness of everything overwhelmed my eyes. Everything was dark, gray, and ominous, and I could feel the heavy air weighing down on my lungs as my heart rate sped up; the thunderstorm is coming.

  He guided me left down the hallway and I could see a lone door on the horizon breaking up the cloud of grayness enveloping us. The lack of food was depleting my energy. Every step I took was one less drop of gas my engine had left to run on. And if all my energy ran out…well then it would all be over.

  The door crept closer and my imagination ran wild at what could be on the other side, but as we edged closer and closer I realized that it couldn’t possibly be anything good. All of it seemingly was not right. The stern, angry expressions the man was making, the long portentous hallway, and the small room I was locked in—everything was a red flag begging me to turn around and run away.

  My brain concluded that the man, whoever he was, was not there to help me. My instincts were screaming to me that if I waited any longer he would find a way to kill me, and the only method I knew to escape was run.

  Without a second thought my feet exploded forward, catching the man off balance. I sprinted forward as fast as I could—I was convinced that I was running for my life—but this time there was nothing in my mind except a silent fear. My lungs burned as my heart struggled to keep up with my feet. One look behind me and I saw the gorilla man trucking forward with his eyes narrowed and nostrils flared.

  “Stop running, you stupid little girl!” His powerful voice was enough to knock me over, but I shuddered at the thought of what would happen if his disgustingly overgrown arms came into contact with me.

  The door neared closer and closer, but my body was screaming at my brain that it needed to stop. My lungs were on fire, my heart pounded faster than a snare drum, and a black haze was starting to slowly envelope my vision, but I pushed onward. The predator quickly was making up ground. He would soon be able to reach out and grab me. I looked forward in a frenzy, but the hallway came to a dead end—my only option was to try and go through the door.

  Shit. I panicked realizing that I hadn’t thought this through at all. I had just ignorantly let my instincts take over. What do I do now? What’s even on the other side of that door? Even with the lack of air, my lungs and brain had managed to let out a sigh. I have no other choice, I have to open that door.

  The stampeding bull raged on, growing so close I was sure he could just grab my hair and yank me back. But just in time the door’s handle came within arm’s reach and I hastily opened it. For once my small, meager body became a good thing as I squeezed by the tiny space in the door and slammed it shut with all my might just before the man could squeeze his monstrous fingers through the door.

  “Ah,” I put one hand on my chest and breathed a sigh of relief. But one look up and my brief moment of relief turned to instant anxiety.

  I looked up at dozens of wide eyes that peered down at me curiously. Rows of upon rows of people stood pressed up against the glass anxiously waiting for something. Their condescending gazes went many stories up, the shell of people and glass surrounding me in a cocoon.

  Instantly my cheeks turned red with embarrassment, why are they all looking at me? What are they waiting for? The people were dressed in lavish fur coats, shiny decorations covered their bodies, and the women’s faces looked powdery and flamboyantly opulent.

  The door smashed open, breaking my upward gaze, and the man emerged with his ears red with belligerence. Tripping over myself, I scurried backward only to bump into the rock-hard body of another tall man, whose glaring eyes and pin head towered over me, casting a shadow on me. I looked up into his dark stone-cold eyes and instantly my hands began to tremble.

  The dark-skinned man grabbed me by my shoulders and picked me up with a malicious grin. He was finally getting what he wanted. I started to flail my arms and legs to try and shake him off me, but his grip was tight enough to cut off my circulation.

  “Get off me,” I tried to roar as powerfully as I could, but I was defenseless against him. My eyes grew wide with shock and fear, and he turned me around mid-air and thrust me violently into the large metal chair behind him.

  Two metal r
estraints came out of the arms of the chair and wrapped around my wrist. Why are they doing this to me? Tears filled with anger, confusion, and most of all fear poured down my face. Why do I deserve this? What did I ever do?

  Nowhere in the vast abyss of my mind could I find the answer, but my gut told me that these people were pure evil, and I needed to get away. Wasting no time, I began to jerk my body upward trying to rip the restraints off me. I was completely irrepressible. I shook my body madly as I screamed and kicked in an effort to break free, but I was stuck.

  My frenzy was accompanied by a sea of laughter. Hundreds of people it seemed were pointing at me, cracking up in fits of hysteria. They made fun of me, cursed at me, and if there wasn’t any glass to stop them, I’m sure they would be hurling things at me. It was all just one nightmarish mad house; one big production, and I was the star of the show.

  “Alright, alright,” the lanky man spoke up in a bold voice motioning with his hands for the crowd to settle down. The noise quickly dissipated as all eyes turned towards the center of the room.

  “Well,” He paused allowing his voice to echo off the walls, “I’m sure you know why you’re here.” He looked me directly in my eyes.

  He grinned running a hand through his thin orange hair, seemingly satisfied by the completely baffled look I gave him in return.

  “That’s good. That’s really good, because you won’t have to be here for much longer.” He slowly hovered over me, his creepy stare and crazed grin were enough to haunt my conscious for eternity. The energy that radiated off him created an unsettling aroma that made me repulsive.

  The whole room stood still until he moved his pale bony fingers and placed a metal cap with two wires sticking out of it on my head.

  “What the heck are you doing?” I objected, the frost cold metal sent a chilling energy down my spine. It felt like ice was running down my back, and my arms jolted up to try and knock it off but were held in place by the metal cuffs.