Delusional Read online

  “Y’ know what,” I continued despite the feeling of regret building from inside my stomach. “You’re wrong. You’re the one who will be seeing visions of hell for the rest of their life, there’s now nowhere to escape it in this dreadful world.”

  For the tiniest sliver of a second, I saw a break in the wall of anger covering President Ash’s face. And just in that split second, I got a glimpse inside the mountains of inconceivable hurt, regret, and devastation hiding behind his shield of arrogance and maladroitness. For a second, he almost allowed himself to process his emotions, but instantly after my tongue finished uttering those final words his face turned back to a fuming cup of pique.

  “You really think that?” He questioned, a stomach-turning grin on his face. He inched closer, “Well then maybe we can change that.” He cackled his head moving out of the light and into the darkness that loomed above me. “Maybe we can fix you.”

  My body froze, it’s not like I could have gone anywhere anyways, but when he brought his hand back into the light I shuddered at the circular syringe he held. In slow motion, but also in one quick sweeping motion he launched his hand forward, connecting the syringe in a mind-numbing thud with my right temple.

  My thoughts became discombobulated, and my vision grew black at the edges. President Ash’s nightmarish snickering and contorted, apoplectic face whisked my brain into a land of blackness.

  Chapter 12

  “Get up!” I felt a sharp jab in my right side. My eyes fluttered open to a pit of suffocating darkness enveloping my eyes, and my eye lashes brushed the fabric wrapping around my head.

  A loud bang echoed throughout the helicopter, and I felt a draft of cool air blow against my face. A big, cold hand forced me to stand up. I gulped as the click of the gun sounded next to me, and the gun swiveled to jab the barrel into my head.

  “Ow!” I winced, only causing the man from behind to catapult me forward into the hard back of the soldier in front of me.

  I could feel the tension rising in the air, accompanied with feelings of immense fear and panic. But despite this, the footsteps of the people continued to drone on in an endless monotony.

  I jammed my hands upward against my shackles to rub the large bump that I innately felt on my head, but I forgot that I couldn’t move my hands.

  Guided, or more accurately forced, by the firm hand on my back, I moved down from the helicopter and across a platform onto a hard-concrete surface. I’m inside, I know that. I thought feeling the semi-warm temperate air brush up against my face.

  “Lay off me!” I heard the distinctive, low bellow of Antonio roar in the deadly silent place we found ourselves in. I heard a click, and I closed my eyes instinctively, even though I couldn’t see to begin with, and I prepared myself to hear a deafening gunshot, but the voice of President Ash instead cut the soldier’s actions short.

  “Don’t,” His voice came from right behind me. And it took me a second to connect that the hot breath pressing up against my neck, and the cold hand singing a mark into my skin was President Ash. “Not yet, at least.” President Ash sneered madly, taking great pride in the fact that he had the ultimate power; to control the fate of others’ lives.

  The ominous silence continued forever, no one daring to breathe loudly or even utter a word. I took each stride in short, delayed motions just to piss off President Ash, whose finger nails drove like knives into my back.

  I could tell we were making our way down a long narrow hallway due to the short, pounding echoes of each footstep.

  I stared straight forward, trying to burn holes through my blindfold with the heat of my vexation.

  A loud bang of another door shutting behind us ringed in my ears. My body then was propelled forward by the cold hands of President Ash. I stumbled wildly tripping over something hard and metal, falling in a panic to the ground.

  President Ash, and a few of the other soldiers in the room laughed like it was the funniest thing they had ever seen, and right as I began to get up I felt the heavy kick of someone knock me back down mercilessly.

  I winced, coughing to get the mountains of disgust and anger building up inside me out.

  I laid face down on the ground in defeat.

  “Get up!” President Ash bellowed, practically loud enough to rupture my ear drums.

  I laid motionless, desensitized from my environment, disconnected from the world.

  “Did you hear me?” He screamed reaching out and grabbing me, “I said get up!” He picked me up by the hem of my shirt and held me mid-air, his immense strength powered solely by the emotions raging inside of him. Then in one single thrust, he tossed me into another cold, unyielding chair.

  I heard a clanking above me, and a gel-like substance enclosed around the top of my head effectively constricting my thoughts.

  “What the-” I went berserk shaking back and forth, the insanity taking over me, as I desperately tried to rid myself of the thing’s grasp, trying to somehow rid myself of the indescribable amounts of pain and fear threatening to send my body into convulsions. But it was too late.

  “See you later, friend.” President Ash said it in deadly sweet tone, and right as he said it I could feel my grip on reality start to loosen as I drifted off into another dimension.

  ***

  The wind pelted my face as I opened my eyes tentatively, fearing that I was dead. I looked down at the water raging below and instantly cowered backward. I was standing on the flimsy plank of a sail boat cast far out in the emptiness of the sea. Dark clouds loomed above, not giving way for even a sliver of light to escape its grasp.

  The yelling of the rugged, most likely drunk, men behind me put my body in survival mode. A fat, short man with a long gray beard and shaved head began to make his way out to me, where I was dangling helplessly on the plank.

  I flailed my arms in a panic, as the man showed off his yellow, decaying teeth in a bone-chilling grin, that closely resembled that of President Ash.

  The man laughed, getting pure enjoyment out of striking fear into my eyes, and in one forceful push he launched me off the plank and down into the dark waters below.

  I hit the water in a bone-crunching smack, the pain flooding my nerves in one quick, devastating sweep. The second I hit the water my body became submerged under twenty feet of arctic cold water. It was a different cold than a blast of frigid air hitting your face, it was the kind of bone-numbing freeze that turned your lips blue and swelled your numb skin. I clawed to the surface, sucking in a deep breath of the salt filled air before another wave crashed down from above.

  I swam in a frantic rush back to the surface calling out frantically to anyone that could hear me, but I was all alone. I watched as the ship receded behind the horizon, and suddenly the dark blue around me turned into a vile black.

  I inhaled the air that my lungs so desperately craved, as another wave of water buried me. For hours, it felt like I was in a pattern of swimming to the surface just before the burning in my lungs and faint feeling in my brain became unbearable, only to be thrusted back down beneath hundreds of tons of water by another cresting wave.

  Another wave, this one appearing to be more sinister than the rest, smothered me and I finally gave up. Releasing all the tension in my muscles, I stopped my struggling and surrendered to the will of nature. Within seconds my body began to slowly sink towards the bottom of the abyss.

  I looked up, the coldness taking over my body and ceasing my movements, and I could see a thin film of light refract off the water. The weight of the water above pushed down on me like a hydraulic press, causing my bones, lungs, and hope to crush under the suffocating pressure. My ears ringed, a low beeping echoing like a chorus in my head.

  My lungs burned, in sharp contrast to the state of permafrost the rest of my body was morphing into. Darkness enveloped my vision, and pain overloaded my senses.

  Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. I opened my mouth in an instinctive, desperate last move. Water forced its way down my throat, drowning my lungs in
a chilling liquid. The pain made its way from my lungs, to my heart, and then to my brain.

  The pain started like a single stab, until it grew to the magnitude of thousands of little stingers mercilessly poking at my body. It wasn’t before long until the pain became too much, and all that I could feel or think about was the indescribable hurt driving its way into me.

  Finally, it became unbearable. My lungs sucked in one last breath of water, in anguish craving oxygen, and my brain let go from reality, hopelessly craving death. Suddenly, everything shifted and the blackness around me gave way to a blinding light. I opened my eyes, and I looked around at the thousands upon thousands of people who were packed together across city blocks.

  Spiraling, metal and glass skyscrapers towered above, casting a shadow over me. Everyone had a distant, sedated look in their eyes as they stared transfixed, at a giant screen looming ahead. A sick feeling grew in my stomach, as the smiling face of President Ash appeared on the screen.

  The crowd, that stretched on for blocks in all directions, did not react. In fact, besides the tribal-like playing of an entourage of drums, there was a peculiar silence. The sky was a crisp blue, and the air had a familiar cold edge to it.

  Then, as if commanded to do so by another worldly force, the people got down on their knees and began to bow before President Ash in unison. The sound of everyone slapping their hands against the pavement reverberated off the buildings and shook the fiber of my being. I stared in horror, and felt a dry, vile taste build up in my mouth, but I found myself mindlessly bowing before him in sync with everyone else.

  I screamed at myself, cut it out! Stop this madness! But my body had a mind of its own as it bowed before the image of the dark, disgusting face of President Ash before me. He loved the power. He loved the cheers of the crowd, garnering the pure admiration of thousands of crazy people. It must have filled a void in him somehow. But getting other people to love him would never be enough; it would only act as a temporary fix to the deadly amounts of hatred that lie inside of him, and in reality, are directed at himself.

  What is wrong with you? I yelled in my head, but to no avail. I wanted to reach over and slap the guy next to me, I wanted to slap myself. What is happening? The picture of President Ash stood hundreds of feet tall, making him look like an otherworldly being with his every wrinkle, every strand of hair, and every wretched tooth exemplified for all to see and worship.

  If only I could reach out and choke you, you son of a…

  My thoughts were interrupted as a young man stood up. He had pushed back brown hair, defined facial features, and crisp blue eyes that vaguely reminded me of someone else, I just couldn’t put a name to his extremely attractive face.

  The boy began to push his way forward through the crowd, but two officers raised their guns right at him. I felt a scream gurgle up inside me, but it was suppressed by my closed mouth, and the two officers instantaneously fired their guns in a series of five deafening shots, causing the poor boy’s body to fall lifelessly to the ground in a bloody mess.

  The image of President Ash cackled madly, the ear-splitting sound echoing in my head. I closed my eyes, screaming in terror, and when I opened them I was in another world. I was standing on the familiar cliffs of the Marin headlands, the sun was just starting to dip below the horizon in shades of purple, orange, and red.

  I instinctively looked to my right, where Colton stood smiling, his hair looking golden in the last rays of sunlight. His eyes were vibrant; they longed for me.

  “Colton.” I called out, joy overwhelming me. I ran towards him, my heart throbbing with emotions as my brain raced with confusion.

  “Natalie,” He smiled wrapping his firm, comforting arms around me. He looked at me, with a twinkle in his eyes, and we both knew what to do. Our lips connected, and my hands danced all over his body. Endorphins rushed through me as memories of the past—memories of him kissing me—flashed through my mind.

  “I love you,” I whispered. The sun starting to fade behind the ocean like the memories clashing in beautiful colors in my mind. Our hearts began to pulse together, and with every passing second that our lips touched we became more and more intertwined.

  Then I felt his right arm move slowly down my back. At first, I didn’t think about it, I was too absorbed into our love, but the second I felt the sharp metal tickle my spine I shook with fear.

  Then before I could react, before our lips could even part, I felt the metal blade dig deep into the skin on my back. Colton smiled wickedly, and I cried out as a blinding pain took over me as blood began to soak my clothes.

  “Colton!” I screamed out, tears pouring down my face. A white-hot fury scorched through my veins, as Colton’s wicked smile transformed into the awful face of President Ash.

  “See you later.” He sneered, throwing my body off the cliff down into the ocean and rocks below. Everything whizzed by me at blinding speeds, as I grew closer and closer to the fatally sharp rocks, and glass-like ocean below. Anger, fear, and adrenaline pumped through my body causing my muscles to go numb. Then, in a deafening smack, I hit the water and an indescribable amount of pain overloaded my nerves causing them to collapse under the hail storm of agony driving its way through my body.

  Everything turned to a dark, bloody red and then my vision went black.

  ***

  I awoke in a pool of sweat, my heart racing in the same metal chair that I had drifted off into those horrid visions in. The same gel-like cap grasped the top of my head tightly, slowly choking the life out of me.

  In front of me, President Ash stood illuminated by the low blue light of the screen. His eyes still had that ominous, wicked glare in them that would make any kid run and hide in terror, and his smile was wider than ever.

  “There you are.” His dark eyes met mine, and I stared at him with a look of pure disgust and hatred in my eyes. If my hands weren’t bound together, I would lunge at him in attempt to tear the skin off his face.

  “I hope you all had fun,” He laughed, his voice ripe with joy, “I made that one extra special just for you.”

  “How sweet of you,” I heard Dulce’s voice respond.

  “Blind fold them again!” President Ash roared at the group of soldiers in another bipolar fit. On command, I felt one of the soldiers’ big hands wrap a thick sheet of fabric over my eyes and tie it tightly just below the cap on my head.

  “Take them to their cells,” President Ash spat on the ground. “My work here is done.”

  On command one of the soldiers grabbed and pulled me up by the collar of my shirt. I gulped as I was thrusted forward. My heart sprinted in my chest, threatening to run right out of my body. The way the words were uttered out of his mouth, the way he so definitively said done lead me to believe that my life was the thing that was finished.

  “But don’t worry,” I could see his evil smile even through my blind fold, “I’ll be back.” His voice was icy cold. The air effusing from his mouth to send a chilling sensation throughout my body, freezing me to my core.

  The door slammed shut behind me once more, and I could feel one of the soldier’s hands on my back forcefully guiding me down the hallway.

  The silence in the hallway, or wherever we were walking down, was crippling. Besides the muffled tears from behind me, and the monotonous echo of the footsteps down the hallway, the only thing screaming in my head was my angry thoughts.

  All those visions were him. The fear, the sadness, the anger, the pain, all induced by him. He tricked me into believing that his nightmarish visions were real. He tricked me into believing that all that Colton said was real.

  It was all just one big fat lie.

  I tried to turn my emotions of sadness over Colton’s death into a new fire of rage to fuel my fury, but a small hole was still left unkempt in my heart. In this messed up world in taters, he was the one person that I could ever remember truly caring about; he was the singular thing that I had ever loved. And now he was dead, and I was trapped in a body that did
n’t remember me.

  Suddenly, I heard another loud shift, and I found myself being shoved violently to the rough, cold ground. I squirmed backward, as the steps of a humongous man made its way over to me, but in one powerful jab he grabbed me tightly and ripped the shackles off my wrists.

  In a desperate move, I flailed my arms, trying to knock him down, but in one punishing stomp he ceased all my movements. He ripped the blindfold off my eyes and grunted.

  For a millisecond, both of our eyes met, and he had the same zoned-out, lackluster look at the surface of his eyes, with a barely visible core of hurt at the center. I laid on the ground motionless, trying to think of all the ways he could kill me. He had a pistol mounted on his belt, multiple knives at his disposal, and big burly hands that could choke the life out of me in seconds. But he chose to use none of them.

  He instead, walked towards the door, with heavy footsteps, and slammed the door in an ear-splitting bang.

  I looked at the ground, defeated. They left me here to die.

  Chapter 13

  It was all them.

  The nightmares, the tremors, the visions, the sadness, the fear. The faint ringing noise growing ever louder in my ears. The decaying paranoia eating away at my entrails and sending me farther and farther below rock bottom.

  It was all them. It was all him.

  Twenty-one days marked in bloody scratches on the concrete walls. Twenty-one days with insufficient food and water carving a hole in my stomach. Twenty-one days of the horrid visions, and tumultuous nightmares. Twenty-one days of torture and I felt like I wouldn’t be able to make it through one more.

  The visions were constant. My brain drifting in and out of reality at the drop of a dime. Voices haunted me feverishly, and incessantly ringing in my head. Natalie, they would call out in a low hiss, your time is done.

  Their voices left a cold shock in my body, their voices were death. Come with us, they would tease, it’s time to go home now.