Delusional Read online

The voices were miniscule compared to the hallucinations that would overcome me in a moment’s notice. Almost like a good movie, or riveting video game, they transported me to other worlds that always felt so real; worlds filled with fiery apocalyptic hell.

  “Ah!” I screamed out, tearing at my eyes, the seer agony coming back just thinking about the horrid images. Hellish images flooded my mind wreaking havoc, destroying everything in their path, and leaving me with a rusty, broken version of myself.

  Slaves being whipped into an orderly line, attached at the ankles in shackles, and connected with the terror in their minds. The smell of the dead bodies burned the hairs in my nostrils, and the heat in the air slowly melted away my eyes and will to live. I would follow, in a slow drag behind them, with President Ash madly whipping the endless line of people.

  Other times there would be a line of pre-school children, cowering in fear, as a group of soldiers unleashed a hailstorm of gunfire upon them. I would watch in a veil of darkness, crying hysterically, while the innocent children dropped to the ground, and their blood splattered on the brick wall behind them.

  Hundreds more truly sickening and hellish hallucinations would appear to me in vivid color, and then my mind would return to reality, and my body would shake uncontrollably with the overload of emotions coursing through me. The tears would rupture out of my eyes in violent downpours, as I crawled up in the corner trying to escape it all.

  But it was impossible. The nightmarish thoughts, the ghost-like whispers, and the wild emotions weren’t going anywhere. They found me.

  I looked up, a fresh round of tears blanketing my sweat, and dirt filled shirt. The room I had been in, if you could even call it that, was about eight by eight feet wide in all directions. The room was painted a dark gray, and filled with coarse, ugly looking concrete that left little indentations on my skin after sitting on it for hours upon hours’ end. There was a single light, dangling well above my head, that emitted a low, yellow glow that failed to reach the ground. As a result, I was left blanketed in a cold sheet of darkness.

  There was an air-condition vent, that pumped out freezing cold air, attached high up on the ceiling just out of reach of my countless attempts at reaching up there. My hot breath turned to mist after every exhale, and my body was lined in goosebumps at all times. The frigid air only added another layer of cold and darkness to my already foreboding future.

  My back felt stiff, and every time I tried to move a shooting pain found its way into my neck due to weeks of sleeping with no bed, if I got any sleep at all. The rock beneath me was cold and unforgiving, just like the heart of President Ash and foundation of the world.

  I hate that man. Vexation sprung up from inside me, and this time it was oozing out of my skin in beads of sweat. He could’ve killed me. He could’ve ended my life in one second. But instead he chose to put me through hell. Instead, he chose to leave me helpless and die a slow painful death. Instead, he choose to lure me into his hands, by using Colton, a freaking humanoid, to have me fall for his promise of happiness.

  “Uh!” I bellowed, almost hoping that the force of my echo would cause a crack in the walls. He’s a psychopath. He’s completely insane. He loves the torture.

  He loves the power.

  I glared up in disgust at the video camera positioned in the top right corner of the room, filming my every move for the watchful eyes back in Ash Tower in New York City to look over in joy. President Ash’s evil cackle reverberated in my head in a low, creepy mumble.

  Screw him! Screw this! He already took everything away from me, how can he be hungry for even more? I banged my fist against the cold, metal rim of the toilet seat next to my head. After forever with no plumbing, a nose shriveling stench permeated the air. The relentless smell slowly made its way to my brain where it sat, causing a dull throb to sink in.

  For the past few weeks, the same guard has opened the metal cell door and delivered two small cups, one with a nauseating mixture of chicken, assorted greens, beans, bread, and who knows what else grinded up into a smoothie like texture, and another cup filled to the brim with warm tap water.

  At first, I would gag as I would painfully swallow the mush in small careful spoonfuls. But, by now I have grown accustomed to the taste, in fact when the dark-skinned, stocky man shows up at my door I gobble up the meager cup in seconds wishing there was more.

  I sometimes tried to suppress my ever-insatiable thirst by drinking the cup of warm, putrid smelling water in little sips throughout the day. But it would never work. My tongue would always get desiccated, and my throat would end up in a dry, cracked desert. The thirst crawled throughout my body, until it became a ravenous sensation triggering every cell in my body to go nuts. And no amount of water ever helped flush the cloudy liquid surrounding my brain, causing me to feel light-headed and dizzy constantly.

  The fatigue grabbed on to me, slowly pulling me farther and farther underneath the ground, until getting up to stand became a feat of endurance and courage. My muscles were slowly being eaten away by the relentless animal living inside me, and my dry, flakey skin was peeling off a little more with each passing day. I was convinced something was eating me to death from the inside out, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it was President Ash himself.

  “Damn!” I pounded my fist against the floor; the frustration was taking on a mind of its own. My mind flashed back to the few times I had been outside of this cell in the past 21 days, and they were far from pleasant experiences.

  The same soldier would always barge in, and ruthlessly pin my cowering body to the ground and tie on my blindfold and handcuff me. He would then grab me and chuck my small body, out of the cell and into the hallway.

  My heart would thump loud in my chest, as I frantically thought of ways that I could possibly escape. But it was impossible for me to move once the deadly pressure of the soldier’s meaty hands closed around my shoulders.

  Each time, without fail, we would make our way back to that same room we were in my first day in this hellish place. Once in the room the cap would always find its way around my head and all I could do is sit there and stare into blackness, as the soldiers messed around with my brain.

  They have no right! The anger would always explode out of me in fruitless attempts at breaking my shackles off. There was no way for me to tell what they were doing, but as I’d drift in and out of nightmarish visions I would sit and wonder, a wave of horror and hope always overcoming me. Are they going to mind control me? Are they going to make me a humanoid? Will they wipe my mind again? The worried half of my brain would cry out in panic, but the curious more optimistic side of me would always wonder, am I in Area 51? Do they have my memories right there in front of me? Can I get them back?

  After hours of agony, and terror swarming my mind, they would always return me back to the same cell and tear off my restraints and blindfold.

  “I can’t take this anymore!” My voice boomed off the walls, desperately calling for someone to hear. Desperately, calling out for an elusive hero to whisk me away off my feet. And then hopefully give me a milkshake once in the cover of safety.

  I need to leave. I have to leave. I looked down at my bony ribs, and frail almost lifeless skin, stripped of its precious minerals and moisture. The exhaustion pulled at the sockets of my eyes, threatening to close in on an endless oblivion of blackness. I couldn’t endure anymore of the pain. One more day of it, and I would collapse, finally falling to the relentless will of my hunger and thirst. Finally falling to the pleasure of President Ash’s eyes.

  “No!” I screamed out, trying to force my mind away from the luring presence of death. It’s time for me to escape. I’m going to die anyways, so I mine as well try and get out of this hell.

  I had to do it fast. The adrenaline began pumping through my body in a steady stream, igniting my muscles and brain with one last breath of life.

  I couldn’t die like that. I couldn’t let President Ash win. I couldn’t let him take the only thing I had left away
from me. I needed to at least try.

  The starving feeling in my heart, was even stronger than the starving feeling in my gut. The thirst for life, and the hunger for light empowered me. If I stayed there one more day I would cripple under the weight of death, but if I left there might be just some hope at me surviving. There might be hope of my friends living too, if they are still alive.

  It was my only chance. It was our only chance. And I had to take it.

  I stood up and pounded on the door with my fists, trying to somehow will the door to barge open, but to no avail.

  I need to somehow get one of the guard’s attention, I need to get them here now. I smiled, a plan formulating in my head. My survival instincts were beginning to kick in, my body starting to sense that if I didn’t make something happen fast my life would be over.

  I stood up, and prepared to take my first action, my plan actually seeming like a good idea to my dehydrated, under-nourished brain.

  I took a deep breath, my heart running in my chest, and struck the door repeatedly with my fist. I started screaming, as shockwaves reverberated through my fist and screamed out in the hallways.

  It didn’t take long for the footsteps of a soldier to approach the door, and hearing the footsteps, I backed away from the door and stood cowering in the corner, with tears streaming down my face. Seconds later, the door burst open, and the bulky 6’ 4” guard stood in the doorway with a menacing scowl across his face. He took one long stride forward, ready to strangle me, but I was prepared.

  Instead of, surrendering to the strength and power of the soldier, like I normally did, I took one step forward and got in an athletic stance. My mind then flashed back to the few days we had of combat training, finally feeling thankful for all those hours, and I performed a sweep kick on the lower half of the soldier’s tree trunk-sized legs. The kick, knocked his legs out from under him, causing his body to fall face first on the floor.

  You’re mine. I smiled, a surge of power overcoming me. In the moment, there wasn’t as much fear, but a growing determination to live exploding out of me. I scrambled on top of him, a truly mad look in my eyes, as I ripped the pistol from its holster and got ready to deliver it to him.

  But just as I was about to press down the trigger, the soldier sprung from his place on the ground and knocked the pistol out of my hand and onto the floor.

  In a hectic dash, I dove onto the pistol before he could reach it. I stood up, adrenaline rushing through my veins, and aimed the muzzle directly at his head. I paused, my body instinctively wanting to pull the trigger, but a deeper conscious in my brain screamed in protest.

  My hand shook with terror, and a chilling feeling absorbed me as I closed my eyes and pulled the trigger. A deafening boom ensued that shook my eardrums, and I opened my eyes to the large man who laid lifelessly on the floor.

  Don’t think about it. I gagged, trying to look away as blood began to soak my shoes. You don’t have time for this right now.

  I had found it easier to alienate myself from reality than feel the raw emotions swarming my brain and focus on my sole mission: survival.

  I tucked away the pistol in my waistband and grunted as I rolled over the large body of the soldier, and hastily pulled the contact lenses off his eyes that were left wide open looking. My heart thumped in my chest frantically, sending my mind and body into a frenzy. This better work, I thought putting in the ICLs that were already turned on and displaying a message feed between the guards.

  As I read the guard’s messages, panic started to creep in on my brain. “We are coming,” One of the guards wrote, “All of us.”

  With the ICLs in my eyes, and pistol at hand, I dashed out of my cell that used to smell like something died in there, but now I could officially say that someone did. But that someone wasn’t me.

  Light flooded my eyes for the first time in forever and I could finally see the rock-like structure lining the walls, and the rough stone floor and ceiling. Where do I go? My eyes darted around amok in both directions, as I pulled up the map of the compound on my ICL.

  My heart pumped the anxiety throughout my body, but my brain suppressed it, assuring my tired, depleted muscles that we would survive. An immeasurable amount of will power overpowered the feelings of sadness, doubt, and fear slowly chipping away at my confidence. But it would only be a matter of time until all of it eroded away under my crippling perturbation and tiredness.

  I sprinted hard to the left, where the map said the other cells were located, and sure enough, a row of gray doors stood side by side waiting for me to burst in. C’mon. I gritted my teeth, shaking the door handle violently in an attempt to break in. My heart sped up again, now beating dangerously fast, as my attempts at frantically opening the door were fruitless.

  I don’t have time for this. I glanced around, the paranoia beginning to seep in. On my ICL, I clicked on the green marker above the cells on the map hoping that they would somehow do something, and instantly I heard a click in the door in front of me.

  Yes! I opened the door, another stench filling my lungs, as my eyes connected with Dulce. Most of the flab and life had been sucked out of her, leaving her laying on the floor helplessly with a ghost-like look in her eyes. At first, by her expression, I could tell that she didn’t even believe it was me, but then her big brown eyes lit up with hope.

  “Natalie,” She coughed out, her voice airy.

  “It’s me,” I smiled, but there was a panicked, desperate feeling in my voice.

  “Oh my god,” Dulce stood up, but I could still tell she wasn’t exactly sure if this was just a vision or not.

  “C’mon,” I waved to follow me, “We need to go, now.”

  From the serious tone in my voice Dulce immediately understood what was happening, and the color returned slightly to her skin. We both dashed out of the cell, and I clicked on my ICL to open the next one. We both burst in, and Ethan sat on the ground staring up at us in shock.

  “C’mon let’s go!” I shouted, the adrenaline sending my body into overdrive.

  “What?” Ethan said, an excited and scared tone in his voice, but his body shook slowly with fear. His clothes were torn apart and practically falling off his body.

  “We are breaking out of this place.” I snapped. There was a mad tone in my voice, and a frantic, almost careless way in which my body moved.

  Ethan shot up instantly, and we all stepped out into the hallway.

  “C’mon!” There was frenetic tone in my voice, as the raging echo of the soldier’s footsteps grew closer and closer on either side. The terror sent my heart catapulting forward, dangerously fast, and it contrived my body, even though I felt like I was going to collapse, to power forward.

  I dashed to the last cell and unlocked it with the click of a button. “Let’s go!” I screamed, startling Antonio, who was crouched in the corner with his eyes closed, tears seeping out the edges.

  No, he’s having a vison! I ran up to him and shook his cold body in attempt to shake him out of the nightmare, that sent foam frothing out of his mouth. Is he dying? His body was convulsing, and an odd sound was reverberating quietly off his lips.

  “Wake up!” I bellowed. If he didn’t wake up, no one could carry him, despite his light weight, all of us had lost all some of our muscles mass and none of us were strong enough to heroically carry another person on our shoulders as we sprinted away from government agents.

  “You can’t die!” I screamed tears streaming down my face. “We can’t leave you here! C’mon wake up!” His dark skin looked pale and lifeless, and his hair was messy, and overgrown.

  “We have to go now!” Dulce shouted, the deafening roar of the guards shaking the walls.

  “We’ve almost got em’,” One of the guards said over the chat on my ICL.

  I placed my hand softly on Antonio’s forehead, as if to say my final goodbye, and right in that moment his eyes opened slowly, and he snapped back to life.

  “Let’s go! Let’s go!” I ripped Antonio, whose eyes
were filled with horror and shock, off the floor and dragged him out into the long narrow hallway. I scanned over the map in a flurry, looking for an adequate escape route, but we were cornered.

  The first row of soldiers appeared to our right, sprinting at us with their guns raised. The fear penetrated my brain, causing my thoughts to scatter. Everyone scrambled backward behind me, and I held the pistol up, ready to fire it into the cold hearts of each soldier mindlessly charging forward. The training I had received from the White Knights taught me how to fight and what to do in combat, but they didn’t teach me how to deal with the debilitating fear that ceased your brain’s capability to think, and left my hands trembling.

  The soldiers stampeded forward, unleashing their gunfire upon us in a hailstorm of fury. The deafening pangs ringed in my eras, and the bullets whizzed by at lightning speed. I aimed my gun at one of the soldiers, and with my hands trembling I pressed down the trigger.

  In slow motion, it seemed, the bullet catapulted through the air and connected in an explosion of blood with the head of a soldier. I watched in horror, as the gun fell from his limp hand and clattered on the floor. Blood gushed from his body, as his life spilled out onto the floor helplessly.

  Just don’t think about it. I gritted my teeth and took another deep breath as I fired another bullet that ricocheted off the body of another soldier. Dammit! I dove backward into one of the cells where everyone else was out of the line of fire.

  “They have bullet proof vests on.” I shouted to them above the roar of the gunfire.

  “Shit!” Ethan poked his head out into the hallway, only to jerk back inside.

  “Someone needs to get another gun!” I called out, the pounding of the soldiers’ footsteps growing ominously close.

  I peered out at the soldiers and aimed the gun at the head of another man in the row of soldiers, and almost instantly after I pressed the trigger his forehead erupted into a blood gushing fountain and his body fell to the floor.

  They were now only fifty yards away, and it was only a matter of time until they delivered the one bullet that would end all our lives for good.